Editor’s Note: Every year my cat writes a Holiday Letter From Da Kitteh. This started several years ago after I received a very proper Holiday Letter from some relatives.
I used to write an English version and an LOL Speak version. I would then place the version I thought most favored by the recipient into their Christmas card, and mail it off. I did get some strange looks from a few friends that first year, but most took it in stride. (Eh, screw ’em if they can’t take a joke. I’m too
old secure to care.)
LOLSpeak, also known as LOLCat when used by cats. The singing is optional.
That first year, I sent the LOL Speak version to my 86-year-old grandmother on a whim. Not owning a computer or being tech savvy, she had never seen LOL Speak.
But that didn’t matter; she LOVED it. My 86-year-old grandmother “got” LOL Speak. She said she laughed so hard tears streamed down her face. She brought it down to dinner at the retirement home and read it to her dinner companions, who also loved it. She loved the letter more than anyone else has ever expressed to me. Nothing makes me happier than to know my writing makes someone laugh, and especially that it did that for my grandmother.
Last year, my grandmother, and Checkers, my co-pilot and the original writer of the Holiday Letter From Da Kitteh, both passed away. I couldn’t bring myself to do a letter.
This year, Pye will write her first Holiday Letter From The Kitteh. I hope you enjoy it as much as my grandmother would have. But, wait! There’s more…
I think my cat is bipolar.
Pye is unpredictable, as you all know: she pees in the box, she pees on the chair; she snuggles, she runs away from home; she licks me, she bites me. I know the peeing is purely behavioral: she gets mad if I start the RV, or leave her locked in when she doesn’t want to be. But I can’t figure out what triggers the rest of the sudden changes in behavior. At the moment, she’s on a cuddley streak, after being on a 3-day “I’m wild and don’t know you unless I’m hungry” streak.
The latter started shortly after I gave her flea medicine on the back of her neck.
She appears to have an allergic reaction to the flea drops at the treatment site; she scratches at the spot for a day or two. But after this latest application, I’ve began to suspect the allergic reaction goes deeper than just a bit of itching. This was the first time I noticed a change in her mental behavior for several days after the flea medicine was administered.
This sure would explain a lot about her unpredictable behavior. Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be much about this kind of side effect on the internet. Have any of you ever experienced a change in behavior with your dog or cat after administering flea drops?
Pye: “Meow?” Me: “Yes, baby, in a minute.”
I talk to the animals. I know you do, too.
A conversation about talking to your cat started But, wait! There’s more…
Why is it when some people have an issue, rather than discuss it like a rational human being they decide to lash out? *sigh*
Or even worse, they assume something completely moronic and then lash out like they know everything? And why is it some people run the minute there is any conflict? How can you get to be that old and not have learned SOME communication skills??
But never mind this for now, I really don’t care. Instead I will try to live by this message from Joel Osteen (posted on Facebook, thanks to reader Greg V.):
“What would this world be like if instead of judging people we would start loving people? So they don’t look like you, they don’t dress like you, they don’t raise their children like you, they’re not supposed to. God made us all different. Maybe they’re not making good decisions right now. That’s okay, show them mercy. They’re still on their journey.”
Well, I just wish some people would hurry the heck up and get there. *big sigh*
I do have some funny stuff from around the web to amuse you, mostly brought to you by a couple of my readers. Yes, I’m phoning it in.
Here is a fun one: Toilets of the World Quiz (thanks to reader Fumiko G.). They show you a picture of a bathroom, and give you a choice of three cities. I got 6/10. If you play, come back and post your scores in the comments.
Do you need a Halloween costume? Here’s But, wait! There’s more…
It’s been a year since Pye appeared on my doorstep. A year of learning about relationships, for both of us. Yes, I’m referring to my cat as if she’s a person. If you’re new here, please see the tag line under the title of this blog for the explanation.
We’re going to skip what I’ve learned about relationships this past year or so; I’ll save that for another time. Let’s move on to Pye for now, shall we?
What we’ve all learned about Pye in the last year:
We learned that Pye doesn’t sleep, and keeps me up at night.
We learned Pye likes to drink from my water cup. I don’t like this because I know where her tongue has been.
We learned Pye doesn’t know what to do with a live fish. She likes to think she’s wild, but she’s not. Not even a little.
We learned that Pye will run away in a moment of panic (gee, I have NO idea what that’s like), but will return 30 hours later.
We learned Pye has a foot fetish. Apparently, she has a boot fetish as well. Hey, I like cowboy boots, too, but don’t you think Pye is taking it a bit far?
“Kitteh luv dat boot.” (These photos are crappier than usual because I used my cell phone. YES, that’s my excuse.)
“Mmmm, kitteh fink boot smell gud.”
“Hold meh, Boot. Hold da kitteh. Luv da kitteh.”
I have a “no shoes on in the RV” kind of carpet. These boots were not next to my bed. Not that I wouldn’t mind a pair next to my bed. Just sayin’.
And now we learn: But, wait! There’s more…
The Life of Pye is a sporadically-posted series about the cat who adopted me.
I’m a bit overdue for an update on Pye. She is still here, tearing up my RV, but there have been some changes. Here’s the latest…
Cat-induced sleep deprivation.
As I’ve mentioned before, Pye does not sleep at night. She considers night time the best time for attacking the bedsheet wrinkles or my sleeping feet.
The sleep deprivation was getting to me. Since Pye is a water-loving freak of cat nature, squirting her with water has the opposite effect it would on normal cats. Locking her out of the bedroom, something I’d rather not do because I like her little warm body sleeping next to mine, doesn’t work because she scratches at the door all night. She wants to cuddle for about five minutes, but then she wants to play.
A sleeping Pye – it must be daytime.
Solution #1: The Vacuum Technique
Thank Goddess for the internet – I found out I’m not alone. The best technique I read was from a commenter (you guys are the best!) on a post about cat-induced sleep deprivation. He described the “vacuum technique”.
But, wait! There’s more…
This is another post in the sporadic series about Pye’s antics. Some previous stories are Pye Has a Foot Fetish and Thirty Hours Without Pye.
Before I start, let me note that this post is not about my cat and a tiny ship that was tossed. This is about a different minnow.
Pye and The Minnow
At one of my jobs we sell live bait fish: minnows and goldfish. Until I saw a dog playing with a minnow, which the dog’s owner had placed in a parking lot puddle, it never occurred to me to get a minnow for my cat to play with.
Yeah, yeah, I know. Cats are above fish on the food chain. I never claimed to be brilliant.
After work one day I got her a little minnow and placed it in a shallow baking (pie) dish in the shower. Pye stared at the minnow for a long time. (Remember, this is the kitten that appeared on my doorstep half starved because she couldn’t figure out how to catch enough bugs to stay alive. She and I live in a country park – there is NO shortage of rodents and reptiles to eat, provided you’re bright enough to catch them…)
Pye has never seen a minnow and doesn’t know what to think.
By the way… The brown caulk in the top center of the photo is my poor attempt at caulking my shower. (Note to self, and any others wishing to caulk their own shower: Do not assume that just because the color on the tube of caulk says “Almond” – and looks JUST LIKE the color of your shower – that it will actually match said shower. It will not.)
But, wait! There’s more…
The Life of Pye is about a cat. The cat who adopted me.
And this is a short, sporadically posted series about her. The first post is Pye has a foot fetish.
This is why Pye has to be an “only kitty”.
Pye is still quite pudgy.
She’s been on a diet for several months (1/2 cup of kibbles as per the instructions on the bag), but it’s having little effect. (Her blood levels were tested when she got fixed in November and came back normal.) She gets a lot of exercise, still racing around the RV a few times a day — she uses it like an obstacle course.
Pye needs excitement.
She gets bored or anxious or lonely when I’m gone and tears the place up. I recently read an ad selling dog vests in which it claimed the vests helped calm down anxious dogs. My thinking immediately substituted cat for dog, and harness for vest, with the hope that wearing a harness would help Pye calm down when I’m gone.
To keep her from getting bored, I sometimes take her outside on a leash and harness. No, she doesn’t really walk on the leash. But hope springs eternal so I keep trying. She kind of crouch-walks. And only where she wants to go. I’d really like to have a cat that walks on a leash like a dog. I know it can happen, I’ve seen other people “walking” their cats.
Drama Cat says, “I’m going to tear up the place the moment you leave and this harness won’t slow me down. That book was wrong.”
Pye ran away for about 30 hours.
Last month during supervised outdoor play (a euphemism for “trying to get my cat to walk on a leash”), she broke off her harness in a panic. (NO, she does not get that from me.) But, wait! There’s more…
The Life of Pye is about a cat.
Well, the movie titled The Life of Pi isn’t entirely about a cat. Ok, the movie isn’t really about a cat at all, it just has a cat in it. Whatever, we can’t be picky.
But this post is about a cat. It’s about the life, so far, of Pyewacket (aka “Pye”), the kitten who
arrived on my doorstep adopted me in September of last year. This was originally going to be one Ten Things post, but she’s done so much goofy stuff I decided to make it a series. Lucky you.
Plus, her one year birthday has just passed. She showed up September 23, 2012 and she was probably around 5 or 6 months old at the time. I’ve decided to make her birthday March 23rd. It’s a rough guess, but she deserves an actual birthday.
A rare moment of calm in February. She’s curled up, upside down, along my side and arm. We’re napping in a black “faux mink” throw blanket.
Here’s some of what’s happened in the last six months… (more posts to follow)
Pye has a foot fetish. No, really – and I’m beginning to get concerned. She loves my stinky shoes. She attacks my feet and ankles almost constantly. Sometimes she licks them, or just puts her own paws on my feet. She likes to do this most by laying behind my feet and placing all her paws on the edge of my foot when I’m trying to cook. But, wait! There’s more…
This is another post about my cat. If you don’t have pets, or never had pets, you probably won’t get this. In fact, you may decide to never get a pet, ever. But they’re totally worth it.
I went to visit my friends Ben and Jo in Rockport, Texas over the weekend. The following are snippets from a conversation I had with Jo.
Conversation with my friend Jo about Pyewacket, my newish kitten:
Me: Pyewacket is getting pudgy and is now on diet. I used to call her Princess Pye, but now I’m calling her Pumpkin Pye.
Jo: *laughs* Maybe she’s not getting enough exercise?
Me: Oh, no. The little Tasmanian Devil of a kitten gets plenty of exercise. Everything in the house is a toy. My house is probably being shredded as we speak. All boxes that enter, packing materials included, are immediately claimed by Pye. It doesn’t matter if she’s too big to fit in the box, it’s still hers. She races up and down the RV in the morning and in the evening. When I’m trying to sleep she attacks my feet and legs. (Yes, Bluzdude, I have been trying your suggestion of ‘sail cat’. She thinks it’s part of the game.)
Me: I’m pretty sure she thinks her name is “No” because I’m always telling her to stop attacking or scratching something. And then there are my showers. I can’t take a shower alone anymore!
Me: The day after Pye first showed up on my doorstep, I decided she needed a bath. But, wait! There’s more…
This post is a mish-mash of Ten Things Tuesday randomness from the past week. It’s not Tuesday, I know, and there may not be exactly Ten Things in this post. If you’re one of those folks who is a tad OCD about such things, I recommend coming back to read this post on Tuesday. Then all will be right with the world.
(I am not poking fun – I have a few of my own OCD “preferences”: Clothes in closet hanging by “rainbow order” is just one of them. Rainbow order is a term I made up as a kid to describe how my 64 Crayola Crayons HAD to be arranged in the box. My little sister, Chickenbone, would use them and it would freak me out if they weren’t back in the right order. I don’t have crayons anymore so now the clothes in my closet get the rainbow treatment. Chickenbone has never seen the inside of my adult closets.)
My grandmother and me in 2011 when she got to see the RV. (Yes, I know my head is cut off, but this is my best recent picture of her and I together.)
My grandmother passed away a few days before Christmas. She lived a long happy life and died at the age of 91. In later years she always told me, ‘Have a good time. Whatever you’re doing, just have a good time.’ She said it as if this was the most important thing she’d learned in her long life. I’ve been making more and more decisions based on her advice. But, wait! There’s more…