This is me. What, you thought I was human?

When I’m not here, you probably think I’m out having an awesome social life, on a date, or something fun.

Sadly, no.

I have been discovered – by spammers.

When I’m not here blogging (and deleting spam), I’m writing elsewhere about traveling, marketing, and deleting spam in between.

That is, when I’m not at my new job.

Yes, it’s true folks – I am no longer a government-subsidized cube dweller. I have escaped the padded cell, a.k.a. the cubicle from hell.

(Believe it or not, I didn’t get fired for asking Guy Kawasaki if he had a single brother for me. Truth be told, by then I had already given notice so there would have been no point in firing me in my last week. Heh heh.)

So far the new job is good. I’m doing the marketing tasks I love (Facebook, Twitter, blogging, creating and implementing marketing strategy), and learning more as I go.

Other than that, there’s not much going on in my social life. Tonight for instance, I’m home watching the first season of HBO’s Hung on DVD and living vicariously. OMG! That’s good stuff and Thomas Jane has a lovely naked body.*fans face*

In case you have or want a dating life, I thought I’d offer some unsolicited advice on Dating and Sex, not that I’m doing much of either. Here are some reasons why…

No texting or calls during dates. I have to admit, I broke this rule a couple months ago. My date had gone to the bathroom, and, well I had good reason. Ok, that’s just a reason and not an excuse. He came back before I finished, and I made a lame apology and then stopped. The point is it’s disrespectful.

Sexting – When is it appropriate? It’s an exciting way to build anticipation in an established relationship – once in a while. Personally, I prefer dirty emails or calls to sexting. Oddly enough, I’ve received several “booty call” texts or ‘sex texts’ from men who use it as a way to declare their interest. Umm, what? Did I even say I was interested in you? NO. Did you just assume I would go to bed with you because of a pervy text? Guess what your chances are now? Less than NEVER.

Same goes for those late night drunken booty calls. I can’t tell you how many drunken booty calls I’ve received over my life time. Seriously – that’s not attractive. Ever.

Men, what I’m about to tell you may seem harsh, and will insure I never get another date ever again, but please understand it’s the best for BOTH parties involved. Consider this as a public service.

If we’re trying to make love and let’s say “junior” isn’t able to stand at attention, that’s ok. I’m quite confident I can speak for 99% of the women out there when I say it’s ok to just let it go. We’re really ok with it. We know it happens. We are much happier having you do something else. Don’t abandon the whole activity just because ‘junior’ isn’t ready to play – take some time to practice your foreplay skills on us. And there’s always the toys. 😉

Scientists recently found that romantic love involves chemical changes in the brain that last 12-18 months. After that you better have something to talk about. Communication is important. No, texts don’t count.

Maybe I’m too picky? I could accept any number of those lovely booty calls. (<— dripping with sarcasm)

Eh, no thanks. I’d rather hang with the cat, the computer and episodes of Hung.