Category Archives: Phoning It In

Animals Behaving Very Badly – NSFW

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

WARNING: This post is probably not safe for work if, as The Bloggess would say, you’re boss is a total douche-canoe.

It all started with this perverted email my old P.I. boss sent me. He sends me the best freaky stuff. He is not a douche-canoe. Thanks B!

That email spurred an internet search that turned up all kinds of interesting things. Animal crime sprees, animal sex acts, and all kinds of crazy stuff. I will spare you the really freaky.

I learned a new word: Zoophilia. (DO NOT GOOGLE THAT) They say you should learn something new every day. Unfortunately, that was it. *sigh*

During my search, this link of Crimes Sprees Carried Out By Animals came up.

drunk monkeys

Can we really blame them?

Can we really say a monkey who takes our drinks is a thief? An alcoholic, yes, but it needs to be breaking a law to be committing a crime and considered a thief. Last I heard they were no laws governing what monkeys can or cannot do. They’re allowed to drink and drive because they’re not expressly prohibited from doing so.

Yes, my new job is with attorneys. Sorry, I’ll stop now.

Ok, on with the show… uh, so to speak. (The NSFW stuff follows…) But, wait! There’s more…

Life Before The Computer

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

Just a short post (that I totally copied from a funny email). (Just so you know, this isn’t plagiarism like what happened to Aunt Becky at Mommy Wants Vodka. No, seriously. It is not! This came from one of those e-jokes, and had no author listed. It’s totally different. Mostly because I’m just to lazy to write a real post today and this was funny. They typos, however, are totally mine since I retyped this from scratch.)

Life Before The Computer: But, wait! There’s more…

14 Signs You’re Over 40

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

40 sounds great. Not that I relate. I’m still 27. Always 27.

We interrupt the regularly scheduled post to bring you… well, this.

First, let me just say I did not write this. I wish I had, but I didn’t. The following was sent via email by a friend…

If you are 40, or older, you might think this is hilarious.

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning…. Uphill… Barefoot… BOTH ways. yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!

But now that I’m over the ripe old age of forty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.  They’ve got it so easy.  I mean, compared to my childhood, they live in a damn Utopia.

And I hate to say it, but kids today don’t know how good they’ve got it!

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. But, wait! There’s more…