To Learn Something New

You should learn something new every day, or so they say.

(I don’t know who ‘they’ are. Just go with it.)

But if you’re learning it here, do so at your own risk.

My desire is to bring a little humor into your life, to brighten your day in some way. In the event my scintillating writing leaves you wanting, I hope you at least feel you learned something random useful new from my blog. You know, so it wasn’t a total waste of time away from the work you’re avoiding.

Hey, you may find yourself playing Wii “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader” some day and then you’ll thank me.

In case you just haven’t learned anything new today, you’re doing research for an important project, or have found yourself in a battle of wits with a 5th grader, below is a list of some of my better favorite more educational posts, and what you can learn from them.

We learned…

My first roadtrip in my new RV was scary in My Knuckles Are Still White.

Boondocking is not easy for blonds in Ten Things: Lessons in Boondocking. In my defense, it was my first time.

That I like to see weird attractions in the towns I travel to.

“Dude” is not just for California anymore, and Aussie’s have brass balls in We Say ‘Dude’ In These Here Parts . (Note to self: travel to Australia soon, meet some Aussie’s.)

I made shirts and stuff  for the Zombie Apocalypse. What did we learn? Oh, ummm…. I’m talented?

Bullet proof Mercedes are vulnerable to air attacks. Who knew?? And “honking” a breast like a car horn is a bad groping practice in When Lost in the Crenshaw District of L.A., Sacrifice The Blond

When dining with royalty, don’t mention you work with wild animals in Flirting With Disaster: Dating Exiled Afghani Royalty.

If you or a friend are attacked by lots of angry bees DO NOT take them to the hospital on the bus in Penny and The Attack of The Killer Bees.

 

It was a pain to get the planes to lovely Spain only to be rained on by my now ex-boyfriend.

I want to travel the country in an RV and FEAR is really an acronym in Panic Much? FEAR = F*ck Everything And Run.

Golf Carts Don’t Float. That’s it, that’s the lesson. They don’t float. Trust me.

The Facebook Addicts Anonymous 12 Steps. That’s funny shit. Nuf said.

If Facebook Existed Through History God was bored, and cockroaches didn’t care about the asteroid. (Disclaimer: I didn’t write this post, but it was too good not to share.)

My parents probably wish I would stop blogging. Embarrassing Moments in Underwear – I’ll Show You Mine… and Drinking and Smoking: My Childhood Memories .

Pigeons want me. No, they WANT me. It’s creeping me out. Oh, and I like birthday nookie. OMG People! No, not with the birds! The Anniversary of My 27th Birthday, Council Chambers is in The Toilet, and More Pigeon Porn

Humans got their courtship practices from the birds in The Birds, The Bees and Pigeon Porn. Be very careful of the bees, people.

You TOTALLY need to buy this book! Tim Ferriss’ The 4-Hour Workweek. Seriously.

Brothels have Pleasure Menus! Seriously, you can learn A LOT from those. Personally, I learned several new words and phrases. Sex In Carson City: My Trip To The Brothels and Brothels 100 Years Ago and Tantric Sex Today.

I started young. My First Brush With The Law. My parents are very proud.

Internet dating is bad. Match.com and eharmony.com were not helpful. Internet Dating Fail, part 1 and Internet Dating Fail, part 2. And in the continuation of the Match.com Chronicles we learned it’s not wise to sign up for Match when you’re under the influence of cold medicine.

My. Cat. Is. Awesome. Tribbles in The Kibbles. She can do no wrong. Cat-ass-trophe.

‘Kernut’ is a word I made up when I was little because I couldn’t say “currant”, or my father made it up. It’s also a half-popped popcorn kernel, and the name of my alter-ego in the childhood stories my father told. What is a Kernut?

Happy reading!