Before we get started, the title is loosely borrowed from a song that is actually “Hockey, Hockey, Hockey All The Time“. I do love that song, it cracks me up! (Hi Canada! You give good song.) Now, on with the show…

It all began when I joined this gang. There was this initiation and a blindfold and some spanking…

Ok, that’s a lie. There was no blindfold or spanking (unfortunately). I joined a Blog Gang – we’re not dangerous. Unless you’re the English Language, then you’re screwed.

See what I mean? Apologies to English teachers everywhere.

Today’s Blog Gang topic is Happiness.

Wait – don’t go!

I know y’all come here for stories of my crazy childhood, dates with royalty, really funny Facebook stuff, horny pigeons, and the inner workings of brothels, but that doesn’t mean you won’t learn something useful from this post. (You know how I like to provide you all with an informative blog. You’re welcome.)

On with our topic…

You are a space traveler. Seriously, will you stop trying to leave?! This is important. And I do (eventually) bring it around to the topic of Happiness.

Right now, this very second while reading this funny time-wasting informative blog, you are spinning anywhere between 700 (at the mid latitudes) to 1,038 (at the equator) miles per hour. AND, like a spinning toy top whirling around the drain of a big, empty swimming pool, the spinning Earth is whirling around the sun at 67 thousand miles per hour, traveling about 587 million miles in a year.

With. you. on. it.

Just take a moment to let that sink in, I’ll wait.

But that’s not all… our Solar System is turning around the center of the Milky Way at about 568 thousand miles per hour. It takes a Galactic Year (that’s 225 million years for all you non-scientists, not that any actual scientists read this blog) to go around once. Our Solar System has made that 225-million-year trip over 20 times since the beginning of the planet.

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting really dizzy.

As if that’s not enough, the galaxy is also moving through space (I don’t know how fast, just really, really fast, ok?). The Milky Way Galaxy is only ONE of many billions of galaxies in our little universe. Some scientists (the ones who don’t read this blog) believe there are many other universes.

Crap, now I feel dizzy AND super small.

See, I told you you were a space traveler. You’re welcome. Again.

Why be happy? You just learned you’re a space traveler! Put that on your resume, NASA needs you.

Personally, I’m happy most all of the time. It took a lot of positive, some major, life changes to get me here, not the least of which is daily meditation (and hopefully Tantric Sex someday, but I digress). Life is good, and we’re all so fortunate to be on a planet with chocolate. Just think of all the other planets, and all the possible planets in other universes… Do you really think any other planets have cows, and therefore chocolate?? I think not.

Need more reasons to be happy? The atmosphere at the equator is also slightly thicker due to rotation, so you weigh slightly less. That right there is a great reason to be happy – well, if you live near the equator.

Need another reason? Then just think how fast you are hurtling through space at. this. very. moment. Be very happy you’re not falling off. Be grateful for gravity.

And if nothing else, you probably just blew off a few minutes of boring work reading this awesome informative blog. Be very happy, and grateful.

Author’s Note: Just as I finished this post, all 33 of the Chilean miners were rescued, safe and sound. Be #FuriouslyHappy for that.

Tell me, what are you happy for? Are you happy to be a space traveler, on a planet with chocolate and members of the opposite sex? You know I am. 😉

The #BlogGang is below. Check them out! Then tell us how awesome we are, but don’t mention our grammatical or spelling errors, or we’ll do some bad gang thing to you. Spanking is optional, but requests will be considered. Send a photo with request.