Ascension Martial Arts in San Jose, CA is offering Zombie Defense Classes - These people are THINKING AHEAD. We need to do the same.

I’m sure by now you’ve all heard of the impending Zombie Apocalypse.

No? Please catch up – if not for your sake, then for the sake of others. This is no time to be selfish.

Governments have even done studies on the (un) likelihood civilization as we know it will survive a zombie attack. Our (usually none-too-bright) Government knows the Zombie Apocalypse is coming.

We sure can’t trust THEM to protect us, people. It’s the Government y’all – they’ll probably be the ones who CREATE the zombies.

An earlier post, Zombie attack Plan – Got One?, includes quizzes you can take on the likelihood of surviving a Zombie Attack. (Go ahead and take the quizzes, we’ll wait.)

If you don’t do well on the quizzes, don’t worry – these guys can help: A local martial arts company is now offering Zombie Defense Classes. (No, they’re not paying me. In fact, they don’t even know I’m writing this. When they find out, I hope they like the post because, really, they could kick my ass if they don’t. They kick ass for a living, people.)

Their tag line? “Close Combat Techniques… because you WILL run out of ammo.”

Seriously, they’re right. You will.

They ask us ‘When the dead rise, will you be able to dispatch them with a simple smile on your face and a witty comeback on your lips?’

I think not.

These guys are really smart – they’re thinking ahead. They’re thinking OUTSIDE of the Zombie box, people. We need to do the same or we’re going to be left behind.

That’s when I came up with the idea for Zombie Apocalypse Greeting Cards

How awesome is that for you? Totally.

Zombie cat sympathy card - front.

Zombie cat sympathy card - inside. The good news!

Zombies in Love - Just Do It (ok, this one needs work.)

Om Zombie Meditates - Zombie Life is good! Great for a t-shirt or mug! Get yours before the apocalypse!

I know, I know, they’re just what you’ve always wanted. You’re welcome.

These are just a few samples of my “Zombie Life is good” work. Hallmark – feel free to contact me. I’ll be waiting by the phone. For reals.

T-shirts, mugs, greeting cards, etc. coming soon at http://www.zazzle.com/kernut* . (Some designs up now, including “We’re in an Obamanation t-shirts, etc.) And the drawings are better. A little.) Halloween is coming and you’ll want some of these. Probably. Maybe.