Embarrassing Moments in Underwear - I'll show you mine...

In honor of Wicked Girls Think It’s “NPD” on Saturday, April 24th this post is about underwear. (If you don’t know what ‘NPD’ is yet, check out Wicked Shawn’s post Wicked Wednesday Q&A from 4/14. Scroll to Question #1, by yours truly. Note that the date IS Saturday, April 24th, not the 23rd as in my comment.)

I’ll wait, but come back after you’ve read about NPD. (I’d say what it is here, but you know, my parents still read my blog. Although, they’ll probably stop after reading this post.)

As I was saying, in honor of NPD, I’ve decided to share a few embarrassing underwear moments, not all of them mine. Heh heh.

I’ll show you mine, you can show me yours later. In the comments, or by email: swtrpnzl (at) aim (dot) com. Pictures are accepted.

I reserve the right to repost your pictures and blog about them. So if you send ‘em, you’d better be proud of ‘em.

For your pleasure, three embarrassing underwear moments…

I was about 8 years old. We didn’t have much money back then (unlike now. um wait, no, just like now) so our clothing was not ever… new. We got hand-me-downs from our cousin, or clothes made by our grandmother (a great seamstress). When we got underwear it was new from the store (Thank God for small favors!), but it was rare to get new underwear.

Sometimes the elastic was shot because they were old.

This was one of those times.

I was jumping rope at a new school; holding the rope was a cute boy on whom I had a crush, and another boy. So I’m jumping along just fine and then, in the time it takes to jump just once, my underwear slides down around my ankles.

Not good.

And then my “crush” started laughing.

That’s not how it was supposed to be. I’ll bet he’s reading this now and thinking he missed an opportunity to ask me out.

Or not.

To this day I have an underwear obsession: You just can’t have too many pairs.

Ever.

My next most embarrassing moment in underwear happened when I was in my late teens. I had this great purple, wrap-around silk skirt I wore all the time.

This was to be the last day I ever wore it.

For a few hours, I was causing trouble hanging out with some male delinquents friends. I realized they were behind me a lot, and whispering. It was a thin skirt and a really hot day, so I never felt “a draft”. It took me a while to realize the skirt was ripped – all the way up the back of one thigh and showing half my butt cheek.

And the perverts jerks I was with were too busy staring at my ass to tell me my skirt was ripped.

Nice friends I have.

This last story is about a cop. I worked on the fringes of law enforcement (ie: not a sworn officer, but worked for small PD, was also a bail agent and PI) so I wanted to go on a ride-along with the local PD. I was really hoping for a high speed chase through the center of the city, but no such luck.

We got to bust a guy for being drunk in public: Non-combative, laying on the ground, half passed out.

No chase. No fight. Not even a wiggle of a struggle.

BUT, or should I say BUTT, as the cop was bending over putting the cuffs on the drunk, his pants split. Black cop pants, split all the way around from the center of the crotch up the back of his nice butt, while white tighty-whities added a lovely contrasting stripe up the middle.

The cop and about five of his cop buddies were all standing around, on taxpayer dollars, just gossiping about nothing while the drunk was waiting to go to jail. I was sitting in the patrol car, watching intently, and not one of them seemed to mention it to him.

He was a really cute cop (Hi Eric!), so I enjoyed this as much as my perverted friends did in the previous underwear mishap.

However, unlike my perverted friends who waited hours until I figured it out for myself, I told Officer Eric.

Well, I kind of teased him a bit first.

Me, giggling as he gets back in the patrol car: So, um, does it feel a bit drafty? *snicker*

Eric: ???

Me, still giggling: Um, your friends didn’t say anything to you?

Eric: No, what are you talking about?

Me: You don’t feel a draft?

Eric, getting annoyed and being snippy: What are you talking about?!

Me, being bratty: Let me guess, you wear BVDs? Tighty-whities?

Eric, light dawning, reaches between his legs and feels the rip. We had to rush back to the station so he could change. Someone else took the drunk to jail.

Now that you’re all ready for NPD on April 24th – this is for men and women – feel free to send pics for me to post, or just tell me your most embarrassing underwear moments.