A Holiday Letter Frum Da Kitteh

Da bestest kitteh in da worldz.

O Hai Interwebz! Dis iz also da guest post frum da kitteh. Member meh? Shur yu do! Mai hooman offen talkz abot meh, an now I iz gunna be yur nu favorit blogger! Dis iz mai first post.

(Editor’s note: The following is a holiday letter from my cat (and I) to the interwebz. I am a crazy cat lady who sends a similar letter every year from my cat to my patient and understanding friends and relatives. I say ‘patient and understanding’ because they have yet to lock me up in the funny farm. It’s written in LOL speak, and you can find more of it plus many funny cat pictures at ICanHasCheezeburger.com. If you don’t like LOL Speak, feel free to skip this.)

Da Kitteh’s Holiday Letter to da Interwebz

Itz dat tyme agin fer da Kittehz Updat Holiday Letter at teh holiday timez! Since mai hooman an all her relatifs lyk mai lettars soo much, I iz doin dem evry yeer now! I no you are vera happi bout dis. I is vera happi, tu!

2010 haz been anuther gwate yeer! I turnd 16 and I still feel and act lyk a yung kitteh. Mom (mai hooman) took gud care of me, az alwayz. I still gotz a bathz dis yeer, tho, but I don tink I waz durty. I also gotz meny nu toyz and speshul treets! I slept an playd a lot, too. Iz had sum helth isuzz, but wit da owful medacinz I feelin preti gud. Lif iz reely gud for da spoild kitteh lyk meh.

Dis yeer mai hooman left da state job an went tu work doin da markating for teh dammit lawyerz (she always sayz teh dammit when she sayz lawyerz. I dun know whi). Den a few dayz ago she gotz the layoffz frum teh dammit lawyerz. (Mai hooman sayz it meenz mebee not so meny kibblez in da bowlz. Dis soundz not gud to meh.)

Shez also did sum of da dating uv oter hoomans an wrot meny funy storees abot dem on dis blog. She sayz she not du so goodz at atrakting da nice boyz so she reemainz single. (I lyk it wen shez da singlez – ders more room in da bed fur meh – Iz taikz mai haf ov da bed owt ov da middel.)

She sayz da bloggin is one ov da bestest fings, next tu meh ov corse. She luvs her bloggy frendz alotz, an apreeciatez all da luv and supportz she gets frum dem. It warmz her hart.

Wev jus lernd a frend of mai hooman takez carez of de homeless kittehs, racuuns and possumz in her yardz. She buyz dem all da speshul treets, an da heeted bedz! She iz a vera good hooman. I tink she shuld be maid da hooman saint of da kittehs.

A meow-out to mah meny kitteh cozins! (You no whu you ar.) No nu kittehs joined teh families agin dis yeer. I jus don know wha da hoomanz wer thinking. Yu can never hav tu meny kittehs – we are teh bestest companee. We also makez da grate giftz. You shuld go get a nu kitteh rite now. Is gud fur you.

Go nowz. I wate fur you.

Got nu kittehs? Gud.

I was a vera good kitteh agin dis year, az alwayz. I keept teh house free of mice, bugz and teh spyderz. (I akshully rather watch teh spyderz run around dan to killz dem, so I let mai hooman do dat most of teh timez.) My hooman stil ashurs meh I iz not a bad kitteh jus bekaws I hawcked up a few hair ballz (ok, mehbe more dan a few), and dat teh Santa wil still visit our house agin dis year. Since I wuz a vera gud kitteh, I xpect to getz da meny prezunts agin. I iz a vera happi kitteh!

Mai hooman wering da sily hat.

Above iz a piktur of me jus for you an below a piktur of mai sily hooman. (Eben tho da pikturz are ol we stilz lookz yung.)

I hop you all getz meny toyz an speshul treets in yur stockinz!

Wishing you all Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas, Merry AnythingIMissed, and a Happy New Year!

Much Luv and Furry Blessings,

Checkers and Kernut the Blond