Mirroring: one of the methods practiced in Tantra.
Do sexually confident women scare men or is this an attractive quality?
Really, I want to know. My sexual confidence and security has intimidated more than a few boyfriends. It’s a running theme. And, sadly, the older and more confident I get, the more I seem to intimidate them. So it’s not like it’s going away and I have no intention of squashing it.
But I’m about ready to give up all efforts at finding a match.
Before you let your kinky imaginations run wild… I don’t even get a chance to bring out the whips and chains before they get scared (read: ‘sudden loss of interest below the waist’).
I’m kidding about the whips and chains. Kind of.
Seriously, I’m not even a screamer, much. I just enjoy sex and am not shy about it, or talking about it.
Is that intimidating to men?
Recently I told a good friend I want to try tantric sex. Tantric sex is the art of making love in a somewhat spiritual way, really taking your time with your partner, touching the whole body (the skin is your largest organ – not that other one, boys 
) , utilizing all the senses, and prolonging and then enjoying the most intense orgasm. This journey produces chemicals in the brain in a way similar to the way BDSM does – when done right. When produced in the right order, this chemical cocktail is what makes good sex fantastic sex.
When they say ‘Sex is in the mind’, this is what they mean. If you have never felt the effects of this chemical cocktail, please do yourself a favor and find a way to experience it. There is no better pleasure on earth.
This looks vaguely familiar. *sigh*
So this friend, the one with whom I was talking to about tantric sex, and I were discussing taking our friendship “to the next level”. We’ve known each other for quite a while and been attracted to each other, but one or both of us was always in a relationship. Until recently. Now we’re both single and discussing screwing our friendship (pun totally intended).
He seemed a quite sexually self-assured match – until that point I mentioned Tantra. I sent him this very sexy video on Tantric Massage/Sex (X Rated). It’s just on the artful side of being total porn, and is NSFW.
He didn’t even watch it.
And suddenly he’s intimidated. (This has now happened twice. WTF?! That video is cursed and I’m not sharing it with anyone ever again. UPDATE: One of my readers requested it… it’s in the comments. See how much I love you people??)
Is it intimidating that I like to try new things? That I can talk about sex? (Seriously though – if you’re going to do the horizontal bop, shouldn’t you at least be able to have an open conversation first??) Is it that I send sexy tantric videos? Does it really matter if one of us is a bit more experienced than the other? The man is close to 10 years older than me. He must have a few tricks up his sleeve, too, right?!
After some of my recent posts about sex toys, a couple of my male friends have seemed happier to see me. They seem to smile a bit wider, and look a bit closer at my face… in a Cheshire Cat kind of way. Another, my secret blog admirer, emails me comments privately.
But if we were dating and it came down to it, could they muster the courage like the young fireman? It seems to be a rare man who can appreciate a sexually confident woman. *sigh*
There are quite a few sexually confident women bloggers out there, gals who openly discuss these things like I do. We have a great time commenting on each other’s brazen blogs. But I have yet to find a male blogger who writes equally unabashedly.
Alright Guys and Gals, sexually confident or otherwise… What’s been your experience?
Tantric sex is great, I just didn’t know it was called that! lol
If I were a blogger I don’t know if I would share publicly like that. Shy perhaps.
Privately…. bring it up and then try to shut me up! lol
I like that you are confident. Don’t change for anyone.
Hugz
That’s why I love you Todd!
Have you really practiced tantric sex? I didn’t think I knew anyone who did.
So, post a link to the taboo tantric site, I promise not to be intimidated
It’s always seemed to me that the only guys attracted to my outspoken, opinionated qualities are the kind of guys I’m not interested in — i.e., guys who want to be dominated. Ick. I’ve held out for a guy who’s as strong or stronger than me. And I’m 42 with cats.
Whitney: Here ya go… http://www.empflix.com/view.php?id=27990 (tip: maximize the screen to get rid of the live sex ads). The video is an hour of an awesome-looking massage, with techniques.
“Penny”: *sigh* I’m right there with you – single, ‘of a certain age’, and with cats.
Like I said, I didn’t know it was called that. Just seems like “good lovin’” to me!!
I think that it is very common. Some (and I specify SOME) men want a woman who will have sex with them, but not really own her sexuality.
.-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog ..I’m Going To Have To Start Training For More Sex =-.
Wicked: Very true. I also find the required level of emotional intimacy and availability is too much for many. Perhaps that video clip isn’t quite the curse I thought, but rather a nice litmus test! LOL
Interesting…. I have found that when emotionally intimate and available most women that I have known don’t appreciate it at all. Or perhaps they take it for granted.
Video was very well done though. I’m kinda surprised it was on that site!
[...] *swoon* He was asking me about my experiences with the Tantric sexual massage video I mentioned in this post about sexual confidence, such as why some people I’ve shared it with seemed intimidated by it. With the exception of the [...]
You can share the vid with me even i’m not considered a candidate, only a friend.
And I’ve always loved the chesire cat.
Jeff – The video clip is in the comments above. Enjoy!
[...] you’re not, if you’re a regular here. If you’re new, we have previously discussed men being intimidated by sexual confidence, and also who bought your sex [...]