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I joined Match.com. Again. I blame the cold medicine.

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

Yes, I did. I joined Match.com. Again.

I’m not well. I blame the cold medicine that got me to join the Booty Camp to which I’m now addicted. Those two things are related. No, I don’t know how.

It’s been about seven years and I’d forgotten about this part: I’ve got more Match.com emails and winks than I can respond to. There are many sweet guys on there who’ve written me. It’s really nice. And about time I got some interested attention from an emotionally available man. At least I think they’re emotionally available.

I know it’s only because I’m the “fresh meat” on the market that I’m getting all this attention and it will level out soon, but Holy Horny Ones Batman! I feel such pressure to respond.

Thank you to those of you who suggested I email that guy who caught my eye. He’s already responded FOUR times to my one. I think he likes me. Or he’s desperate. Huh.

Some of you, ok ONE of you, expressed an interest in the details of my profile. (The rest of you are under no obligation to keep reading.) Here’s a snippet…

I'm on cold medicine in this picture.

I’m on cold medicine in this picture.

(I couldn’t decide on an opening line, so I chose both. I’m like that with restaurant menus, too.)

While “(secret login name)” describes my appreciation of meditation, and “Love is a process,…” indicates my desire for a LTR, I considered another opening line: “I’m here because I’m not all there”. Then I thought better of it. Kind of. It’s still a good example of my sense of humor in that I don’t take myself to seriously. But you should. Take me seriously, I mean. (That was another joke. Are you still there? Hello? *cricket*)

(Before we go on… you should know I use “I” a lot in this profile. How else is one to describe themselves in a personal ad without sounding like a complete nerd? If you’re a grammar-fanatic, counting the number of times someone uses “I”, we’re not a match. There are more important things to worry about. I won’t reject you for bad grammar – even serial killers are quite literate. Gosh, I really hope this doesn’t sound bitter, it’s not meant to. It’s prompted by more than a few profiles commenting on someone’s use of too many ‘I’s. I just can’t see spending the time to count them. I’m far more likely to profile you by your car.)

Ok, I’ll be serious now. Like my chosen headline suggests, I believe friendship before starting a relationship is important to it’s longevity. (I’m not interested in a quick hookup or short-term relationship.) Honesty builds trust, and mutual respect. Both are key elements to a healthy relationship.

****** (Blah, blah, hiking, chocolate, reading, traveling, blah, blah. Deleted for the purpose of brevity. Yes, I know it’s too late for brevity. No one on Match is reading it anyway.) ******

You: Single (as in not separated or otherwise attached), and looking for a long-term relationship. Being somewhat health-conscious, spiritually/metaphysically oriented and/or having a regular meditation practice are important qualities, as is an active and adventurous spirit, and a desire to travel. Only those with photos and completed profiles please, and within 50 miles. An email is far more likely to get a reply than a wink. If you write, tell me what you liked about my profile, what caught your eye or piqued your interest. Have a great day! 🙂

Ok, that’s enough about me for now. I’ll post more about the dates as they happen. *fingers crossed*

UPDATED: What was I thinking? Really?? Why didn’t you all stop me? Here’s where it starts, Adventures in Online Dating, part one.

 

Comments

I joined Match.com. Again. I blame the cold medicine. — 42 Comments

    • That’s sweet of you to say. I don’t feel brave, tho. Overwhelmed at the moment, but not brave. I can’t wait to hear about the dates, too! LOL 😉 First one should be coming soon.

      xoxo

    • Thanks! It seems to be attracting a lot of attention, and not all of the lookers are writing – which is good. I want to appeal to the few – not the many.

  3. Sounds good. Make sure your pics are high res. I finally took the plunge and had a cam date with a really pretty gal that has tried to get my attention on Plenty of Fish, singlesnet, eharmony and Chemistry. (I started and stopped, not all at the same time lol) But she has patiently tried to get my attention for several months. I finally gave in because she was never listed on any adult sites, and thats a bad thing with me. Yes, I will log in to see if they have a kink profile. Dropped several in mid stream over those. The truth is you never know who your talking too, and just as many women make parole as men if you know what I mean. But we had a nice chat and im convinced she is a very moral and proper woman. She drives 40 miles round trip to work every day and its about 4 min from me. Probably take me a week or so to get the courage to stop in and say hi. lol I think your ad looks fine. I got 155 contacts in 10 days. Most were icky twisted women so be careful.

    • Everyone keeps telling me to try POF. But I can’t see how it could be better? What’s so different about it?

      Good luck with you date!! Let me know how it goes!!

      • POF is weird. Its like a clean site and and some adult ads mixed together but at a PG level. The women I met I asked what kind of guys, and they said mostly hustlers. The thing is its completely free, so tons of people are on there. That never gave up any CC# or anything to prove who they are. I met the very nicest professional women on Chemistry. Singlesnet women were mostly measuring wallets. They complained the men there just wanted casual sex. Im meeting some very nice ladies on speeddate.com but sweetie has been flip flopping like a fish. She asks me to tell her but as soon as I show any interest she says I love you. Then cold again. So I keep looking. She can say ‘mine’ at any time lol. But you know I have a physical disability, or super ability. Whatever you want to call it. Then I require a specific home and social life, and I have emotional issues, so The average guy can jump in anywhere. I may spend my whole life looking and never find the one. But I know those three things I have to have and those come first. Doesnt matter what my heart tells me. Its been broken many times. I know whats best for that one I pick and me both. I so wish sweetie would give in. Its what I really want and we match in every way. We really are those best friends that last a lifetime. Write me offline. Im so easy lol. Im certain to help as much as Possible.

  4. 40-60 is way too wide of an age span. You could easily get a guy AND HIS DAD in your in-box at the same time. (And by in-box I mean email, pervs.)

    I know, I know, you’re a nice person who wants to be inclusive -but you’re asking for trouble e.g.
    I once put an ad in for a woman with 1-3 breasts. You would not believe the freaks I met.

    • A guy AND his dad?? COOL! I hadn’t considered that! LOL

      I generally date in the late 40s to late 50s range, but thought I should include a few years on either side because it’s not that important to me. Although, plenty 30-somethings are writing. As most want kids and are at a different place in their life, we’re not going to be a match.

  5. I like the profile. I’d totally date you…you know if you were a lesbian and if my wife was okay with it, lol 😉 Have fun girl!

  6. I like your profile! It IS you and I believe that’s the only way to meet someone whom you will click with. Oh btw, being THAT hot sure does help too! 😉

    • It’s a big age range, but not that much dating – I weed them out as I go along. I kinda like them on the older side – 1. they’re ready to travel, 2. they have all the kids they want and they’re often grown, 3. they’re slower and easier to catch.

  8. I think it’s great. But you need to do a lot of weeding. As you know people aren’t always what they seem, especially on the net.

    Your pic looks great.

    FYI: Did you know The Guy’s Perspective was born by writing a dating profile for a friend on match.com…..Funny

    We’re back to blogging on The Guys’ Network dot com. Hope to see you around. Take care and good luck!

    • Yes, the amount of weeding needed is quite daunting.

      I didn’t know that about TGP! hahaha (Umm, how did it turn out, btw? Maybe you should give me pointers.. if it worked out. If it didn’t, then nevermind. 😉 )

  10. I’m psyched! Can’t wait to see the results. I hope true love blooms on match.com. That would be full of the amazing…if not, excellent blog fodder will do. 😉

    • 🙂 I hope true love blooms, too! Now all I need is to go on a date! hahaha First one is Saturday night, but both of our schedules are tight, so I’m not sure if it will happen as planned.

  11. Nice reading, it’s a shame I’m outside the 50 miles of California. Good luck and keep us updated #yousuckatdating 😉

    • Is this my Scottish Andrew? Tis a pitty you’re so far. 😉

      @MeltingTarmac said I shouldn’t use #isuckatdating because it sounds, well, you know. He suggested #imbadatdating . I really should use #isuckattwitter 🙂

  12. Your profile makes you sound fun but also makes it clear you are just looking to get laid. Still, there will be guys who write you in the looking-to-get-laid category. Guess you’ll screen those out as you go. Plenty of Fish – bleh. I mean BLEH! I don’t recommend that site, even if it is free. Nothing good came of it for me.

    • ?! I think you meant to say ‘makes it clear I’m NOT looking to get laid’. I sure hope that’s what you meant – that’s what I’m trying to convey. But gees, so few of them read it anyway I could put that I’m a 300 pound gorilla, complete with hairy back and they’d still write.

  13. I don’t know how it works on match, but I’d look at the profiles of the people who wrote before I opened their letters. You really do just get way too many to read, and if it’s obvious from their profile that we’re completely incompatible (and especially if they could have known that from mine), forget it. I’m not having my time wasted, and if they can see I haven’t opened their letter they won’t be standing on one foot waiting for a response.

    Your profile is great. I’m a firm believer in the most important thing about a profile is not what it tells about you so much as how much it sounds like you, and yours definitely has your distinctive voice to it.

    • Thank you! 🙂 They need to know they’re dealing with someone who has a quirky sense of humor.

      I’m being pickier about those to whom I respond. If they’re outside of my dating area or age range I don’t write back. Some only send me one-sentence emails, others send me entire essays. What really surprises me is that a scant few even ask me anything about myself – the conversations are one-sided at best.

    • Somehow, I don’t see this turning out as good as I had hoped in the beginning. I know it’s only been a week, but I’m already starting to become jaded by the responses that don’t bother to read my profile or are more interested in how than anything else.

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