Zombies, RV Life, and Random Craziness
- Willcox, Arizona, resting place of Warren Earp, Rex Allen and Koko the Horse.
- Happy Birthday! Checkers, the RV copilot, turned 18 today.
- Ten Things: Random Observations From the Road
- Put the hooker in the box, and the bird in the closet.
- “The Thing” in Dragoon, Arizona? It’s a dead thing.
- Bugzilla, my new roommate.
- Tombstones in Tombstone, Arizona
- Holy Flying Vampires, Y’all! The bugs are big in Texas.
- From the Ocean-to-Ocean Bridge to the Bridge to Nowhere, and shaking your dates in between.
- Severe Weather Alert: Like a cow pissin on a flat rock.
- The Center of the World, and two blondes in Mexico.
- Don’t make me get my gun out. Again.
- I got down, way down, in Calipatria.
- I was eaten by a giant dinosaur, and then I found millions of Zombie Fish.
- Cement boats, giant artichokes, old jails, and two-story outhouses.
- Ten Things You Must Know Before Buying a Used RV
- Train and Tumbleweed
- Giant Bunnies, Giant Monopoly Boards, and World’s Longest Garlic Braid. Welcome to Northern California.
- 28 Days Later
- Border Patrol = Reno 911
Pimpin my affiliates… Seriously, this blog can not survive on my writing alone.
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By Kernut, on September 20th, 2010%
The cop goes to uncuff him, but he can’t find his handcuff key. It’s gone. Totally lost. He asks if I have mine. Nope. Didn’t expect to be doing the handcuffing on this one. Plus my key was taken away from me. But that’s another story. So the cop leaves me alone in the apartment with the handcuffed BIG dude. Who could head-butt me to death with one blow. Who is innocent of skipping bail. But not cop-killing. . . . → Read More: Cuff Em Danno
By Kernut, on July 26th, 2010%
Looking for a new pair of shoes? Got a shoe or foot fetish? Got an animal foot fetish? Are you a Dom who needs a gift for your slave?
Let me help you out…
 Chair Shoes? Foot Chair? Do your feet get tired of walking in heels? Here’s the solution!
. Don’t stop now! Continue reading Got Kinky Shoe Fetish?
By Kernut, on July 22nd, 2010%
 This is me. What, you thought I was human? When I’m not here, you probably think I’m out having an awesome social life, on a date, or having sex.
Sadly, no. It’s been about a year since I had a boyfriend – and he was really lousy in bed. Come to think of it, so was the one before him.
But I have been discovered – by spammers.
When I’m not here blogging (and deleting spam), I’m over here writing about Social Media (and deleting spam), or here writing about sexy stuff.
That is, when I’m not at my new job!
Yes, it’s true folks – I am no longer a government-subsidized cube dweller. I have escaped the padded cell, a.k.a. the cubicle from hell.
(Believe it or not, I didn’t get fired for asking Guy Kawasaki if he had a single brother for me. Truth be told, by then I had already given notice so there would have been no point in firing me in my last week. Heh heh.) Don’t stop now! Continue reading Social Media, Jobs, Spam, Sex and Dating – Maybe not in that order
By Kernut, on July 6th, 2010%
It’s true my dear Kernutties – I Went To Jail 4th of July Weekend.
The pokey, the joint, the big house, the slammer.
The Greybar Hotel.
The Rock (no, not the hot one named Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson).
I was a guest of the state.
Alas, this time I did not commit any crimes (none they know about, anyway).
Fortunately for me (and you) I was allowed to leave. Albeit, after a short tour.
I went on a tour of Alcatraz State Prison for the 4th of July.
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Alcatraz Cruises
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Coit Tower and Cable Car. A beautiful day in San Francisco.
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Alcatraz State Prison
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Guard tower.
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Guard cage. The guards! were locked in for eight hours.
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Al Capone’s cell – number 181.
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In jail
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A beautiful view of San Francisco.
You know how I want my blog to be educational for y’all? Well, in the likely unlikely event you find yourself incarcerated, I wanted to share a little prison slang with you… Don’t stop now! Continue reading On The 4th of July I Went To Jail, The Pokey, The Slammer
By Kernut, on June 12th, 2010%
 This should totally be mine. The Earl of Socks, and other relatives
Rumor has it my family is related to a bunch few famous people. Most of whom you’ve probably never heard of.
Ted McGinley, the cute actor. One of his more well-known roles was as Jefferson Darcy on ‘Married with Children’. Yes, that guy! He really does look like the male members of my father’s side of the family. My aunt knows the details, but we’re distant cousins or something… which is too bad because otherwise he just might have made my last list.
On my mother’s side, we’re related to Bertrand Russell, 3rd Earl Russell, a philosopher, mathematician, humanitarian, and Nobel Prize winner. (Apparently, the “smarts” aren’t necessarily hereditary, otherwise I’d be famous rather than infamous.) We’re related through the Duke of Bedford. By all accounts a nice guy, but it seems Bertrand’s life was a bit of an emotional roller coaster at times. Here’s a quote from his biography: Don’t stop now! Continue reading The Earl of Argyll Socks, and Other Relatives
By Kernut, on May 27th, 2010%
Questions and Answers. The answers may or may not be accurate.
I apologize for not responding sooner, but Formspring, the maker of the comment box on the right, didn’t notify me I had emails! *sigh* Apparently, this has been going on for a while with other members, too, and there is no plan to fix the issue. ???
Disclaimer: I make no promises about the accuracy of the following answers. Do not try this at home. Check with your physician before proceeding. Enter at your own risk. You must be 18 and this tall to ride this ride.
Questions I received…
Q 1. How tall are you?
A. Moooooog35 is that you? I’m about 5’5″.
Q 2. Hmm i wrote in this box, but don’t know where any reply might show, facebook?
A. They don’t actually show up anywhere. I will repost the questions and answer them here.
Those are all the questions I got. Don’t you all want some more snarky dating advice? Well, I hope so because I’m working on the next round of tips. Feel free to send me questions.
If you’re not worried about anonymity, you can email me questions at swtrpnzl (at) aim (dot) com. I’ll keep your contact info private – only you and I will know
If you don’t share this story, zombies will get you. (Just a little.)
By Kernut, on May 1st, 2010%
Me, to the bartender, “I’d like a carafe of Margaritas, salt the rim of the carafe, and stick a straw in it.” . . . → Read More: 18 With A Fake ID
By Kernut, on April 25th, 2010%
 This one speaks for itself. My Blog is a Guilty Pleasure
Pepperidge Farm Doesn’t Understand Me
UPS Hires Basketball Players
My Gift: Some Assembly, and Transportation, Required
Google Searches Confuse Me, and Others
(Really, I’ve got nothing. And sometimes Google has nothing, too.)
A friend emailed me the other day to tell he how much he enjoys my blog.
 I start getting all warm and fuzzy. No, really, I’m actually not being sarcastic this time. I love hearing how much you guys enjoy my blog. I get a little excited every time someone leaves a comment. Just a little. Like I do about chocolate. Every. day.
Don’t stop now! Continue reading Random Things I Found Funny This Week
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“Like” me on Facebook. It will keep the zombies away. Maybe.
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