Zombies, RV Life, and Random Craziness
- Willcox, Arizona, resting place of Warren Earp, Rex Allen and Koko the Horse.
- Happy Birthday! Checkers, the RV copilot, turned 18 today.
- Ten Things: Random Observations From the Road
- Put the hooker in the box, and the bird in the closet.
- “The Thing” in Dragoon, Arizona? It’s a dead thing.
- Bugzilla, my new roommate.
- Tombstones in Tombstone, Arizona
- Holy Flying Vampires, Y’all! The bugs are big in Texas.
- From the Ocean-to-Ocean Bridge to the Bridge to Nowhere, and shaking your dates in between.
- Severe Weather Alert: Like a cow pissin on a flat rock.
- The Center of the World, and two blondes in Mexico.
- Don’t make me get my gun out. Again.
- I got down, way down, in Calipatria.
- I was eaten by a giant dinosaur, and then I found millions of Zombie Fish.
- Cement boats, giant artichokes, old jails, and two-story outhouses.
- Ten Things You Must Know Before Buying a Used RV
- Train and Tumbleweed
- Giant Bunnies, Giant Monopoly Boards, and World’s Longest Garlic Braid. Welcome to Northern California.
- 28 Days Later
- Border Patrol = Reno 911
Pimpin my affiliates… Seriously, this blog can not survive on my writing alone.
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By Kernut, on June 27th, 2010%
Mist hung in the air as a gentle breeze caressed my skin.
 Tons of seal pups! The brown things are not rocks - that's the pups. The air smelled fresh, as it always does at the sea. Seals barked in the distance, their sounds echoing off the row of shops and restaurants. Seagulls scurried away as I drew near, some taking flight. The occasional whiff of sauteed garlic and fried seafood wafted through air.
A gust of wind caressed my bare legs, giving them goosebumps. Men winked and smiled as I sashayed down the long dock.
Excitement was in the air. The hair at the back of my neck tingled.
I was simultaneously electrified with anticipation yet afraid of the potential danger being so close to the known killers. I waited with baited breath, hoping to catch a glimpse of the large, dangerous group. Others were scared, too, while some jockeyed for the best spot to see them.
The water lapped at the side of the large passenger vessel as it gently pushed off the dock. There was a long journey ahead of me.
A shiver went up my spine. Don’t stop now! Continue reading Old Fishermen, Fresh Fish, and Dangerous Bad Boys
By Kernut, on June 1st, 2010%
 View from Santa Barbara Castillo, Alicante, Spain Finally, after one too many planes, I got to see Spain! Thank goodness there weren’t actually any trains involved.
Alicante, Torrevieja, and Cartagena, Spain are in the Costa Blanca region on the Mediterranean. (Costa Blanca means ‘White Coast’, and is probably so named for the abundance of British expats  ) Actually they say it’s named for the white beaches, which are lovely and covered with half-naked British expats during August, which makes them even lovelier.
Torrevieja happens to be on almost the exact same latitudinal line as where I live in California. We, however, don’t have an abundance of nude beaches. We need to work on that. In September the weather was a perfect 80-85 degrees (F) most of the time. As foreshadowed in my first post, it did rain a bit on a couple days and was a bit overcast. (Photo gallery at end of post.)
Every cafe or restaurant has an outdoor seating area. Dining by the water, or just grabbing a cup of coffee or tea in the afternoon, watching the shore and the people strolling by quickly became one of our favorite things to do. It was easy to see why this is a popular pastime in Europe. It’s something I still miss as it’s hard to find around here. Don’t stop now! Continue reading Planes, Trains and Adventures in Spain
By Kernut, on May 30th, 2010%
 View from Santa Barbara Castillo (Castle) in Alicante This is part 2 of my trip to Spain. (Part 1 in the series is here: The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly…)
Advance apologies for the length and rantiness of this post. I promise the next will just be about my adventures and impressions of Spain.
When we left off…
Panic has now set in. (Please note the sub-title of this blog: I’m FINE: Frustrated, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. The Adventures, Travels and Tribulations of a Bonkers Blogging Blond. ‘Bonkers’ may be an understatement. Pretty sure it is, but my alter-ego thought ‘bonkers’ rhymed better with ‘blogging’ and ‘blond’.)
Iberia Airlines, with their teams of luggage and policy-making asshats, had conspired to leave me stranded: I’m stuck in a foreign country, alone, speaking only enough espanol to order beer and tacos. As much as I needed one at that moment, I don’t drink beer. Anymore. That leaves me with just tacos. Don’t stop now! Continue reading The Plane to Spain, part 2
By Kernut, on May 28th, 2010%
This kind of weirdness permeated the entire trip. Permeated it like a thick black tar. Not unlike the crap washing ashore in Louisiana and Santa Barbara right this moment: That oil-drilling residue tar that just sticks to you and is damn near impossible to remove. Ever have that shit stuck on your feet? It’s hella hard to get off. . . . → Read More: The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly…
By Kernut, on May 16th, 2010%
 From Bixby Bridge in Big Sur Car Shows, Riding on a Harley, Fried Artichokes, and fresh, hot Cinnamon Rolls!
What an amazing weekend it’s been! I’ve been out showing my friend from Meeneesooota the sights and it’s been an tour of the senses.
That’s partly why I haven’t been around much. Like anyone’s noticed. (I can’t yet tell you all the other reason just yet, but will tell you all as soon as I can. And I promise you’ll love it! ‘Cept for maybe my parents. But they’ve got to be use to me by now.)
It is truly a delight to show someone the sights who has the ability to let their inner child out, experiencing the world with that same sense of wonder and appreciation. He was amazed by the beauty of the Big Sur, California coast, and let himself express it and immerse himself in it. That’s the part most people seem to find hard to do. For me it comes naturally. Probably because I’ve never Don’t stop now! Continue reading An Exploration of the Senses
By Kernut, on May 4th, 2010%
 The Road to Nowhere - much like my life. Today’s post is more pictorial than blog, and therefore good for those of you who buy magazines for the pictures, and not the stories.
Uh hem.
Once again this week I tried to go on the whale watching cruise. You know, so I can provide you all with something OTHER than my old drinking stories, brushes with the law, pigeon porn, or visits to the brothels to read the menus.
Which you probably prefer anyway.
This time the whale watching cruises were canceled due to really choppy water and big winds.
Probably best for me, and you…
I get seasick.
It wouldn’t have been very funny. Or maybe it would have.
 Middle of Nowhere But we’ll never know.
Instead, I went to Casa de Something For Everyone, in Hollister, California. It’s in the middle of Nowhere. Really pretty Nowhere, with lots of green farms separated by green farms.
Don’t stop now! Continue reading Casa de Something For Everyone
By Kernut, on April 8th, 2010%
Have you ever been to a brothel? Of course you have! Well I have, too. Three, actually. All on the same day. I’m a studdette like that. . . . → Read More: Sex in Carson City: My Trip to The Brothels – UPDATE
By Kernut, on March 8th, 2010%
“Hi, my name is Kernut, and I am a Meditator.” . . . → Read More: Meditation in the Los Gatos Mountains
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