Kernut the Blond » Travel

Cement boats, giant artichokes, old jails, and two-story outhouses.

Kernut — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:25:16 +0000

Really, what more could one ask for?

Monterey County is one of my favorite places in California. Santa Barbara being the other. But when it comes to the coastal views, Monterey County wins hands down.

Big Sur, Carmel, and Monterey have some of the most beautiful coastline in the country.

Point Lobos State Park, near Carmel

Highway One on the way to Big Sur

Seals at Old Fisherman's Wharf in Monterey

Enough of the pretty stuff. Here’s the weird, wacky, and wonderful around the area…

Cement boats float. Who knew? But since this one is beached we can’t really be sure, can we? The S.S. Palo Alto was once an oil tanker. Okaaay. Uh, how did that work out?

A cement boat at Seacliff Beach in Aptos, CA. No shit.

That wasn’t the end of her life. After this beauty was purchased by an amusement company before the Great Depression, a fancy restaurant and dance hall were added and she was docked at Seacliff Beach in Aptos, CA. When the depression came, the amusement company folded. Now the S.S. Palo Alto is home to seabirds, and their poop.

The top of the cement boat, aka "the poop deck".

Castroville is the Artichoke Capitol of the World. To honor that monumental designation they erected a giant artichoke in town. (The red bows are probably left over from Christmas. At least I hope they plan to take them down rather than leave them up all year like some folks do with . . . → Read More: Cement boats, giant artichokes, old jails, and two-story outhouses.

Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves. Allegedly.

Kernut — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 03:01:35 +0000

This post is a mish-mash of the highlights from the beginning of my new year, much of which seems like an episode of the Twilight Zone.

I’m not able to post as frequently as I’d like since I’m on the road in remote locations. My internet is spotty and electrical hookups aren’t always available. That’s what boondocking is like. And you all know how I feel about the boondocking.

Ladies and Gentlemen, next stop The Twilight Zone…

Caution: Reality Ahead (but it only *looks* like reality)

A house guest, I have one.

For a few weeks. Holy Shatner! I can’t believe it, either. This one seems to be a very good one. One who cleans up, and helps around the rig with BBQs and hooking up the new toad. We are heading toward Arizona for a couple weeks before my house guest returns to their home state. [The name of said house guest is withheld to protect their reputation (notice I didn't say 'to protect the innocent') because associating with me might, well, you know, not be good for someone's reputation. Besides, we're still trying to decide who is the Gypsy and who is the Tramp.]

The view from my future beach house.

Monterey, Calif. is beautiful.

It’s possibly one of the most beautiful places I’ve yet been to. The town itself is incredibly charming, and nearby Pacific Grove, Carmel, and Asilomar are on my short list of places to buy my beach house. I’ll post more photos later.

The Monterey . . . → Read More: Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves. Allegedly.

There’s a pyramid in Arizona. I don’t think the Egyptians built it, but what do I know.

Kernut — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 19:31:30 +0000

Crazy dinosaur marketing schemes, lighthouses, giant golf ball houses, wayward donkeys, naked bookstore owners, and now this.

A pyramid.

Arizona is probably the coolest state when it comes to unique and odd attractions. I used to think I’d have to go to Egypt or Mexico to see a pyramid, but no. Arizona has a pyramid in Quartzsite.

In 1856 the US Army decided it would be a good idea to bring camels over from the Middle East.

Our government 150 years ago? Not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, so how well do you think this worked?

To their way of thinking, the camels would better make the hot, dry trip across the desert than the horses. Ok, that almost makes sense…

But when they imported the 70 animals, they neglected to consider camels are not horses and are not trained like horses.

In case you don’t know, camels are not sweet like horses.

And the US government is still none-too-bright 150 years later, but you know that.

However, in a rare moment of lucidity, they decided to bring over from the Middle East several experienced camel drivers. One of those drivers was named Hadji Ali.

Since most Americans couldn’t pronounce the name, they just called him ‘Hi Jolly’ – the phonetic spelling of the pronunciation.

*sigh* Do I really live here??

Well, I bet you’ve guessed what happened. Like so many of the US government’s brilliant plans, and through no fault of Hadji Ali, this one failed miserably. However, . . . → Read More: There’s a pyramid in Arizona. I don’t think the Egyptians built it, but what do I know.

I met a naked man in Quartzsite, Arizona.

Kernut — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 18:09:44 +0000
Everyone told me “There’s a naked man in Quartzsite, Arizona. You’ve got to go there.”
Well, duh! Of course I do.

My friends, and folks I meet on my travels, give me some of the best tips. I love you people!

They were right, as usual; he was naked except for a hat, a necklace, and a small crocheted “sock” over his privates. (‘small’ is not a comment on the size of anything other than the sock)

I think there is a little satin bow on it, but I couldn’t look that closely without being accused of staring.

No, NO. On the sock.

Sheesh, I really have conditioned you all to go to the dark side first, haven’t I?

You’re welcome.

He shaves.

No, not his beard. (TMI? Sorry.)

The “sock” was held up by fishing line.

Nothing covered his back side. He runs a great bookstore on the highway. Apparently, his nakedness is not against the law in Arizona. Rumor has is he also walks back and forth across the London Bridge in Lake Havasu during the summer.

You think I would make up a naked man running a bookstore in broad daylight? For years? Wearing nothing more than a hat and a privates-covering sock?

Not a chance, people. Not. A. Chance.

Here’s the sign you see before you go in…

He's very approachable. See? I believe this is also some of his cartoon work. He's really quite good.

And here’s the proof that he really is naked…

Do you like . . . → Read More: I met a naked man in Quartzsite, Arizona.

London Bridge is not falling down, and there are lighthouses in Arizona, but no fog.

Kernut — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 19:49:09 +0000
The song may say otherwise, but I assure you London Bridge is not falling down. I stood on it.
If it can hold me up, I’m sure it’s fine.

But back in the early 1960′s the bridge was falling down, unable to hold the increase in traffic over the previous 130 years.

The City of London decided to put the 130-year-old, busted-up bridge up for auction. The founder of Lake Havasu, Arizona, Robert P. McCulloch, won the bid with a cool $2,460,000 in 1968. He then spent another $7 million to bring the London Bridge to Lake Havasu – brick by brick. It took three years, and it was then reassembled over Lake Havasu.

A video view of London Bridge at Lake Havasu…

They put a little English Village next to the bridge. Probably so it wouldn’t feel homesick.

English Village at London Bridge in Lake Havasu. I'm sure London Bridge feels less lonely now.

Lake Havasu is beautiful, especially at sunset.

Lake Havasu, Arizona at sunset.
Arizona has neither fog nor ocean, but it has plenty of lighthouses. Really.

I’m not sure why they put lighthouses around a lake in a state that has no fog, but they sure are cute as little one-third-scale working replicas of lighthouses from around the world.

Next, I met a naked man in Quartzsite. Yes, I have . . . → Read More: London Bridge is not falling down, and there are lighthouses in Arizona, but no fog.

Flying saucers, people living in a giant golf ball, praying to the God of Golf, and giant animal statues. Also? Beware of donkeys.

Kernut — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 15:24:04 +0000
A bit of randomness from western Arizona…
The infamous Area 51 is in Arizona, a state where many people claim to have seen UFOs.

I’ve met some of them. The people, not the UFOs.

One told me there is a local support group for alien abductees.

Huh? (I looked, but I could not find a link to the meetings.)

To capitalize on the alien folklore by simultaneously combining themes from Area 51 and nearby Route 66, some enterprising folks came up with Area 66.

It’s in a town called Yucca. Yes, it is.

A "UFO" at Area 66. It's just landing, and in a minute the green VW Bug will be flattened.

The woman running the small convenience store at Area 66 has seen UFO-type lights. She seems completely sane. Probably because she considers they were most likely aircraft from the nearby military facility.

However, the guy who insisted on building the above flying saucer for Area 66 claims to have been abducted by aliens.

Okay.

There is an apparent love for GIANT golf balls in Arizona.

So much so, someone built a huge Gold Ball House. It was part of a development deal that never went through.

The Golf Ball House at Area 66. Occupied by people. At least, I think they're people.

Yes, people live in it. The current owners of Area 66 do now, but plan to turn their spherical home into an alien and UFO museum.

You may be thinking, “So, what’s one giant golf ball?” Sure, . . . → Read More: Flying saucers, people living in a giant golf ball, praying to the God of Golf, and giant animal statues. Also? Beware of donkeys.

Birthplace of Route 66, the Mother Road. And I saw Pandora’s Box in the men’s room.

Kernut — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 23:46:01 +0000
Seligman, Arizona, a small rural town, is known as the birthplace of Route 66. It’s full of Route 66 memorabilia.
Reportedly held notorious outlaws that they didn't teach us about in school. And the evening news is worthless as usual. Thanks for nothing, FOX.

Along with a few themed restaurants and shops, there is the old Territorial Jail House from 1860. At one time it housed notorious outlaws such as Seligman Slim, Four-fingered Frank, and Carl “Curly” Bane. (Don’t feel bad. I don’t know who they are, either. Sorry, Dead Guys, but it’s been 150 years.)

While researching my trip, I’d read somewhere “not to miss Pandora’s Box” in the men’s room of The Roadkill Cafe.

Of course, a place named The Roadkill Cafe sounded like a good place to eat, anyway. And I was on a mission to find this Pandora’s Box in the men’s room.

When I walked in to the restaurant, three friendly ladies greeted me. I inquired about ‘Pandora’s Box’ in the men’s room. They all gave me blank looks. No one knew about it. Well, none of the ladies. Not so sure about the men.

I began telling them how I’d heard it was in the men’s room and ‘not to be missed’. I asked if I could go in there to see it, whatever it was. One of the ladies, quite possibly the owner, became as curious as I was. She gladly led the way to the men’s room, as I followed closely on her heels.
. . . → Read More: Birthplace of Route 66, the Mother Road. And I saw Pandora’s Box in the men’s room.

Huge phallic rocks, fertility gods, castles, and vortices. Love, Sedona.

Kernut — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 13:42:45 +0000
How can you not love a town with castles, spiritual vortices, fertility deities, and huge phallic rocks?!
Sedona has everything a traveler could want. Well, travelers who like men.

Ahem.

Shall we start with the spiritual stuff, and work our way down? Err, I mean south. Wait, scratch that. NO, NO, don’t scratch that!

Moving on…

Sedona, in case you’ve never been, is known for its spiritual and metaphysical community. The town has four vortices, places where you are likely to feel energy coming up from the earth.

Whether it was the suggestion of such or an actual spiritual experience, my friend (the one I connected with while standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona), and I both “felt” something. (Now, now. Remember we’re talking about the spiritual stuff here.)

This is a view of Sedona from the top of the Airport Rd Vortex.

Me: I felt it, did you? Him: *dirty laugh* I felt a lot of things.

Every where I looked there were tributes to Kokopelli, the fertility deity. Although, none I saw were depicted with the large phallus as mentioned in Wikipedia.

World's Largest Kokopelli in Camp Verde, Arizona. It's probably a good thing this one doesn't have his large phallus showing.

It appears I have a castle theme going on. But unlike my recent visit to a castle, no one was still living in Montezuma’s Castle. And this one was built around 1300 years ago in 700 AD. (Thanks to Tom G at 20 Prospect for . . . → Read More: Huge phallic rocks, fertility gods, castles, and vortices. Love, Sedona.

Get Your Kicks On Route 66, Part One

Kernut — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 03:13:25 +0000

(cue Nat King Cole)

If you ever plan to motor west, Travel my way, take the highway that is best. Get your kicks on route sixty-six.

It winds from Chicago to LA, More than two-thousand miles all the way. Get your kicks on route sixty-six.

Remember how I went to that dinosaur museum in St George, Utah and they didn’t have any dinosaur statues?

I know why! The dinosaurs have all run away to Route 66.

This is how it started...

Route 66 is a long treasure-trove of the wonderful, goofy, and uniquely odd sights in America: Dinosaur statues, Wigwam Motels, 2.9 million-year-old alligator in Arizona, Longest Map of Route 66, Standing On A corner In Winslow, Roadkill Cafe, etc.

Who thinks of these things?! Oh, how I love this country and it’s quirky marketing ideas!

Here’s how the advertising pitch must have gone:

(First) Rock and Fossil Store Owner: I want help promoting my rock and fossil store. What do you have for me?

Advertising Agency: We’ll get a few of those large, fake dinosaur statues and place them out front. People will come from miles around just to see your rock and fossil store!

Store Owner: Umm, do you mean those big dinosaurs that look like cheezy replicas of Godzilla?

Advertising Agency: Yes! Those are the ones.

Store Owner: Huh. I don’t get it.

Advertising Agency: That’s ok, neither do we.

And up went the dinosaurs.

Godzilla? Is that you? Umm, no.

You must be Godzilla, right? Mmow. . . . → Read More: Get Your Kicks On Route 66, Part One

Grand Canyon North Rim, A Spiritual Experience

Kernut — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 16:20:47 +0000
This post is a slight departure from my usual. The Grand Canyon’s North Rim being one of the most beautiful places I’ve yet seen on my travels, I feel it deserves reverence.
North Rim of the Grand Canyon

Words can’t express the emotions that wash over you as you stand on the edge of these expansive vistas, hearing only the occasional bird and the rustle of the wind.

Peace, tranquility, and serenity come to mind. But even those descriptions feel somehow incomplete. Magical? Humbling?

A picture is worth a thousand words, and a few feelings, too. Rather than try to tell you about it, I’ve created the photo slideshow below. And below that is my video of the North Rim set to relaxing music. Take a little time from your day and enjoy the peace and serenity. (to see the slideshow and video, click the following link…

I hope you visit the North Rim in person if you ever get the chance.

Standin On A Corner In Winslow Arizona

Kernut — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 22:11:39 +0000
There is a park in Winslow, Arizona called “Standin’ On The Corner”. You know I couldn’t make this up.
*cue Eagles “Take It Easy”*

So I had to go and stand there.

Standin' on a corner in Winslow Arizona

While I was standing on the corner in Winslow, Arizona a guy oh Lord on a sweet Harley slowed down to take a look at me.

And then we had dinner.

True story….

It was a friend of mine from California who had called me a half hour earlier. He’s traveling around Arizona and New Mexico on his Harley. I told him about the street corner and he came on by.

Right across the street is a great Route 66 store. I’ve never seen so much Route 66 memorabilia. Nice folks who run it, too.

And in the middle of the same intersection is this:

I. Was. Here.

Dude. This is awesome.

Just in case anyone out there is paying attention to anything I say here, the post I previously mentioned about my spiritual experience at the Grand Canyon is still coming (now here)…

More Route 66 coming

Mollie Lost Her Nipple In Purgatory But I Found It

Kernut — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 16:10:12 +0000
I found Mollie’s Nipple on the way to Purgatory. I can only assume Mollie is walking around with one nipple.
"Mollie's Nipple" in Hurricane, UT. I have no idea where the other one is. I hope Mollie still has it.

It’s a butte named “Mollie’s Nipple”. Makes you wonder if Mollie was a popular saloon gal back in the day. Or if she lost one in a bar fight.

Have you ever see a 100 year-old fruitcake? No, no, I’m not talking about an old gay guy. Geez, people. I mean an actual fruitcake. Found via RoadsideAmerica.com at the Hurricane Valley Heritage Museum, it was originally a four-layer wedding cake. Not sure when they ate the two missing layers, but unless they ate them with a hammer and chisel, it wasn’t anytime in the recent past.

100 year-old fruitcake. It looks like pale green/tan concrete with little dark brown rocks in it.

How about a 66 year old slab of now-petrified bacon? No? Well, here ya go…

66 year old bacon. How could you forget bacon in your freezer for so long? It's BACON!

They also have a dinosaur museum in St George, UT. Now, before you go getting the idea that, like most museums, there are dinosaur statues all over the place you should know there are just two statues. Well, one and a half really. One is just a leg. Both are replicas.

Dinosaur foot with early press-on nails. They were numbered back then.

However, what the . . . → Read More: Mollie Lost Her Nipple In Purgatory But I Found It

I Found Zombies In A Ghost Town – The Apocalypse Beginneth

Kernut — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 18:27:00 +0000
The zombie apocalypse beginneth, people. Be prepared.
I knew I was getting closer to my destination when I started seeing zombies.

A zombie miner. I swear he said "braaaainnss" as I walked by.

You probably aren’t aware the apocalypse has started because the zombies are beginning the invasion in the middle of nowhere. You know how in apocalyptic movies they always show the survivors flee to some barren wasteland?

Yeah, that’s where I was. In the middle of a barren wasteland.

And so were the zombies. (Of which I had more photos, but they sucked. The photos, not the zombies. Vampires suck.)

Like a shriveled, dried-up oasis tucked amongst the ubiquitous tumbleweeds and dust I saw the rustic timbers of Calico Ghost Town rise out of the nothingness.

A thriving mining town in 1881, Calico, just outside of Barstow, CA, is now home to nine zombies – err, I mean people. I suspect they ate 31 of the original 40 residents and have lived off the brains of lost tourists ever since. Except for the zombies, this place really is deserted. Well-kept, but deserted.

My first real attempt at a video is below. Sorry, my audio overlay needs work. Since you can’t hear me doing the voice-over, this is what I’m saying:

“When you’re traveling through the California desert there is miles and miles of nothing, then a speck of a town, then miles and miles of nothing, then another speck of a town. Today I’m at one of those specks: . . . → Read More: I Found Zombies In A Ghost Town – The Apocalypse Beginneth

I’m On The Road And Headed For Hell

Kernut — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 16:33:53 +0000

I needed one for my RV, so I made one. Bumper sticker available at my Zombie Life Is Good Store for under $4. (click photo to go to store) http://zazzle.com/kernut*

The Great RV Roll-About Begins…

While continuing my efforts to pitch The Great RV Roll-About to anyone who might listen, I pumped the TV station’s film crew for info and tips. They said I should make some videos first, then pitch it to the TV station.

Oh.

Ok, I can do that. So with my usual brilliance of forethought and planning, I’m starting The Great RV Roll-About by traveling to the hot bed of funness known as St. George, Utah.

Yup, I really thought it through.

Since mere months ago I was on my way to Hell in a hand basket, I thought I’d finish the job by heading for the hottest part of the country on September 21. At the same time as the Senior Games start and every person over 50 with an RV is in town.

There I go again with the thinking and the planning.

Actually, this is the first major thing in my life that isn’t planned. Case in point: When I was in my late teens I decided I would get married at 27. No, I didn’t have a fiance or a boyfriend of any note. That was just “The Plan”.

Yeah. It never happened. Not only did it not happen by age 27, it hasn’t happened in the many years since.

As Patty Punker . . . → Read More: I’m On The Road And Headed For Hell

TSA In Your Pants

Kernut — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 15:26:05 +0000
Can’t see London, can’t see France, unless we see your underpants.
TSA In Your Pants

Traveling for the holidays? I’m sorry to hear that, you have my sympathies.

Unless of course, you are hoping to be groped by a TSA agent. In that case, you have my congratulations as you will likely succeed. Enjoy! And please do ask them to buy you dinner first. It’s the least you deserve for giving it up to the TSA.

The Blog Gang is at it again and today’s topic is “Holidays”. I could write a whole book on holidays with the family, but they read this blog so I can’t. Instead I thought I’d share with you all a little Holiday traveling humor, courtesy – or rather at the expense – of the TSA and their new policy.

Without further ado, brought to you by the interwebs, and my old boss at the P.I. office: The new TSA slogans…

Safe Travels and a Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

The Blog Gang is below… please leave a comment and visit them, too!

Tiny Houses and The Great Wanderlust

Kernut — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 01:37:07 +0000

Sunset cruise on the Princess Monterey. It helped, but just enough to get me through the week.
From Mega Yachts to Tiny Houses.
This blog all over the place.

But if you’ve read at least three posts here, you already knew that. Besides, I wouldn’t know how/where to categorize this whole blog, given the limited options provided by Google and Yahoo.

Whatever. Their loss.

Actually, “Whatever” might just be the perfect category.

But I digress. Yet again.

Lately I’ve had this sense of unrest, this sense of needing to GO. Go where, I don’t know, but just to GO. Somewhere, almost anywhere, really.

I have a bad case of wanderlust. This happens to me quite regularly. I do love my wanderlust, it takes me to the most interesting places, on some interesting journeys, and fun adventures.

But it won’t be ignored. Like an intense craving, or more like being pulled towards something. I HAVE to go. I can stave it off for a month or so by spending a day or three at the coast, either Monterey or Santa Barbara. For years that has been enough.

But not anymore. It seems my wanderlust has grown stronger. A trip to the coast only seems to stave it off or a week or two rather than a month or two. Now it calls to me ALL. THE. TIME. Three months ago it was already calling me constantly when I mentioned it in Panic Much? FEAR = F*ck Everything And Run. I still . . . → Read More: Tiny Houses and The Great Wanderlust

A Mega Yacht in Larry’s Backyard

Kernut — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 22:14:18 +0000

Mega Yacht "A". This picture makes the 394 foot yacht look small, but if you look closely you can see a tiny, little boat in front of it. There are about 6 people in that little boat.
The BIG local news is all about this Mega Yacht, the “A”, owned by 38 year-old Russian Billionaire Andrey Melnichenko, that’s currently anchored off the coast of Sausalito (near San Francisco).
There are three pools, one with a glass bottom viewable in the dance room below, and doorknobs worth $40,000 on the ship. Entry to the master suite (all 2,500 square feet) is by finger print recognition. There is also a special “nookie” room. This is my kind of man! The mega yacht is 394 feet in length, and worth a mere $300 million, but it’s only the 12th largest in the world. It is smaller in size to Larry Ellison’s (local celebrity of Oracle fame/billions), Larry has a reputation in these parts (and also Malibu) as being somewhat of an ass.

I love the fact that Andrey has parked his mega yacht in Larry’s back yard, so to speak. Hah. Yay Andrey!

Mega Yacht Eclipse. My new home.

Eclipse, the world’s largest mega yacht an estimated at 538 feet in length, is owned by another young Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich. This beauty has two helicopter pads, you know in case you want to go to a different port than others on the yacht. Like the “A”, much of the glass is bullet proof. . . . → Read More: A Mega Yacht in Larry’s Backyard

Not At BlogHer – Live Blogging From LA

Kernut — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 09:00:10 +0000

Not LA, but I was chilly in this picture. This is probably what I look like right now since the weather in LA is cold.

Hello My Dear Kernutties from sunny cloudy Los Angeles!

Since I’m #NotAtBlogHer (and totally jealous of all the blogalicious gals who went), I’m doing this. Yay for you! I’m hoping to do live tweets from my trip to LA this weekend. But my phone isn’t a “smart phone”, it’s only of average intelligence. If it doesn’t work, you won’t see any tweets below. They may instead be above. Crap, I just realized that.
Or maybe you don’t see any tweets because I was kidnapped by a hot knight/swarthy pirate/romantic gentleman. (Hey, one can dream. Don’t judge.) But per chance I am really kidnapped, use this picture on the missing poster, ok? You will make a missing poster for me, right? Right? Hello? (UPDATED 8/9/10: My tweets did not come through. In the words of Wicked Shawn, le sigh. I will recreate the awesome tweets here tonight.)
4:41:33 AM: Up at 0-dark-hundred to drive an hour to meet the charter bus to LA. I hope this live blogging is working. #NotatBlogHer

7:35:33 AM: ok it appears live blogging on kernut.com is not working right for this noob… None of my AWESOME tweets came thru. (THIS is the only tweet, besides the opening/title that posted to my blog. WTF??)

8:27:33 AM: One the bus to LA with crazy people. (pic here Twitpic didn’t work either . . . → Read More: Not At BlogHer – Live Blogging From LA

On The 4th of July I Went To Jail, The Pokey, The Slammer

Kernut — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 02:40:43 +0000
It’s true my dear Kernutties – I Went To Jail 4th of July Weekend.
The pokey, the joint, the big house, the slammer.

The Greybar Hotel.

The Rock (no, not the hot one named Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson).

I was a guest of the state.

Alas, this time I did not commit any crimes (none they know about, anyway).

Fortunately for me (and you) I was allowed to leave. Albeit, after a short tour.

I went on a tour of Alcatraz State Prison for the 4th of July.

You know how I want my blog to be educational for y’all? Well, in the likely unlikely event you find yourself incarcerated, I wanted to share a little prison slang with you…

“Booty Bandits” or “Daddies” – Incarcerated sexual predators who prey on weaker inmates, called “punks.”

“Click up” – Gang term referring to getting along well with a homeboy, not looking for trouble.

“Killing your number” – Prison slang for serving one’s time or getting out on parole.

“Lugger” – Referring to an inmate who smuggles in and possesses contraband and illicit substances.

“Ride with” – Perform favors for a fellow convict, including sexual, in exchange for protection or commissary goods.

“Tits-up” – An inmate who has died.

(Prison Slang courtesy of insideprison.com )

So if you all find yourself in the big house keep your head down and kill your number. Find someone to ride with, or you just might find yourself up against a booty bandit. And click up with your . . . → Read More: On The 4th of July I Went To Jail, The Pokey, The Slammer

Beautiful Blogger Award For Moi?

Kernut — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 23:05:46 +0000
Wow! I got another award! The Beautiful Blogger Award!
(I think someone saw my photoshopped picture.)

This is from the most sexy Wicked Shawn. Thank you sweetie! *throws kisses*

I like her.

Come to think of it, the other one was from her, too. (If you’re counting, yes that is only two awards. Your point?)

Beautiful Blogger Award - From Wicked Shawn. She likes me.

Here are the rules:
Thank the person who gave you the award. (done) List 7 things about yourself your readers do not know. Award 5 bloggers who you’ve recently discovered. . Seven things you could not care less about have been dying to know about me: I’m a bit of a health nut (no soda, booze, milk, etc) – but with an insatiable sweet-tooth. Chocolate. Every. Day. Not exaggerating. I want to travel the country and the world, but I haven’t even been to Hawaii. (Will you take me? Please?) I’ve been out of the country several times, but want MORE. Alas, I have no one to share my travels with. That sharing of experiences, my dear Kernutties, makes them so much richer for me. While I do enjoy traveling alone sometimes, at times it can be lonely. I love sex. Ok, maybe that’s not a secret. I love the art of seduction. It’s like the taming of a wild horse, so to speak: There’s the measured approach, cues taken from the horse, very slowly escalating, all the while savoring the moment. The journey is . . . → Read More: Beautiful Blogger Award For Moi?