This is the beginning of a new theme: “Ten Things Lists”. If I’m really organized (not too likely) and can remember (even less likely) I’ll try to post one every Tuesday for “Ten Things Tuesday”. Or maybe I’ll just be random about it. Probably that one. . . . → Read More: Ten Things To Do When Bored At Work
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  The good kind of spam. If there is such a thing. When it comes to spam, I don’t get the awesome letters The Bloggess and Mental Poo are lucky enough to receive. As they’re seasoned bloggers, the spammers know to send them their best “A game” letters. The spammers save their “B game” for bloggers like me. Great. In a desire to imitate those I love reply in kind to my spammers, for some time now I’ve been tempted to “approve” spammed comments just so I could respond to their clueless remarks for all my readers to see. (Other bloggers will get this. My apologies to those of you who don’t get it. Or blog.) The only thing that’s stopped me is not wanting to somehow legitimize (as if this blog could legitimize anything) their URL, login ID, or IP address, the many ways the spam blocker software expertly identifies these spammers. But, lucky for you, I’ve come up with a way around all that. Don’t stop now! Continue reading Spam, It’s Not Just For Dinner Anymore  8 comments - (Comments are closed)  Humor, Spammapalooza  Bloggers I Stalk, Blogging About Blogging, Spammers Are Special  Before we get started, the title is loosely borrowed from a song that is actually “Hockey, Hockey, Hockey All The Time“. I do love that song, it cracks me up! (Hi Canada! You give good song.) Now, on with the show… It all began when I joined this gang. There was this initiation and a blindfold and some spanking… Ok, that’s a lie. There was no blindfold or spanking (unfortunately). I joined a Blog Gang – we’re not dangerous. Unless you’re the English Language, then you’re screwed. See what I mean? Apologies to English teachers everywhere. Today’s Blog Gang topic is Happiness. Wait – don’t go! I know y’all come here for stories of my crazy childhood, dates with royalty, really funny Facebook stuff, horny pigeons, and the inner workings of brothels, but that doesn’t mean you won’t learn something useful from this post. (You know how I like to provide you all with an informative blog. You’re welcome.) You are a space traveler. Seriously, will you stop trying to leave?! This is important. And I do (eventually) bring it around to the topic of Happiness. Don’t stop now! Continue reading Happy Happy Happy All The Time  This pose is all too familiar. Soooo, do you think we got our mating habits from apes? Does this prove the theory of evolution? I think so. On both counts. . . . → Read More: Animals Behaving Very Badly – NSFW 21 comments - (Comments are closed) Animals, Humor, Phoning It In, The Birds and The Bees, Who Thinks of These Things Animals, The Birds and The Bees, WTF?  The Death of A FlyAren’t you glad you come here? Where else could you get such fascinating news as this? Nowhere, trust me. A recent post about the death of a fly by my hot bloggy friend, A Vapid Blonde, reminded me of the torture we used to inflict as children on flies by making them pilots of small planes. Criminal profilers say torturing small animals and insects is first act of future serial killers. Just a bit of foreshadowing that probably explains a lot about me now. And probably why I blog. When we were little, my father taught us how to build small, light-weight paper airplanes. (I’ll skip the details of the airplane construction because I’d rather not contribute to the delinquency of other minors. Unlike my father. Hi Dad! He taught us all the great stuff like shooting, playing poker, and torturing flies by making them pilots.) After capturing the fly, Don’t stop now! Continue reading The Gruesome Death of A Fly 8 comments - (Comments are closed) Humor, My Crazy Childhood, Zombie Apocalypse Humor, Zombies Are Coming  Their tag line? “Close Combat Techniques… because you WILL run out of ammo.” Seriously, they’re right. You will. They ask us ‘When the dead rise, will you be able to dispatch them with a simple smile on your face and a witty comeback on your lips?’ I think not. These guys are really smart – they’re thinking ahead. They’re thinking OUTSIDE of the Zombie box, people. We need to do the same or we’re going to be left behind. That’s when I came up with the idea for Zombie Apocalypse Greeting Cards . . . → Read More: Greeting Cards for The Zombie Apocalypse  (Disclaimer – I didn’t write this. It’s too funny and creative, so obviously. I got it in an email from one of my awesome friends. I have no idea whom to credit for the following hilarious post.) If Facebook Existed Through History:
My favorite are the last two status posts, God and Ancient Asteroid. I especially love the last two comments.  A pain in the ass. P.I.T.A. for short. You might be thinking: ‘Is she having kinky sex again? Did things get a bit wild?’ Sadly, no. And it’s not painful, anymore. . . . → Read More: A Big Lump On My Butt Cheek  Just a short post (that I totally copied from a funny email). (Just so you know, this isn’t plagiarism like what happened to Aunt Becky at Mommy Wants Vodka. No, seriously. It is not! This came from one of those e-jokes, and had no author listed. It’s totally different. Mostly because I’m just to lazy to write a real post today and this was funny. They typos, however, are totally mine since I retyped this from scratch.) Life Before The Computer: Don’t stop now! Continue reading Life Before The ComputerThis is what they look like. Keep an eye out. No, not like an eye out of your head, just look for them. Serious studies have been undertaken by scientists on the likelihood of civilization’s survival in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse. I’m not making this up, people. Several scientific (?) groups have undertaken Zombology, the study of zombies, postulating the outcome of a zombie attack, and general zombie-preparedness. Finally, your tax dollars at work for something useful. Be proud your government cares so much for your survival they conducted zombie-attack scenarios on your behalf. The studies agree zombies will be smarter, just like in the movies. Fifty years ago zombies were slow and not too bright, but now they’re quick, and resourceful tool users. Unfortunately, the studies don’t all agree on our survival: Some say civilization as we know it will survive, while others say we will all become zombies or die. This is not helpful. A very conscientious friend sent me this Zombie Bite Calculator. He’s obviously concerned about the impending Zombie Apocalypse. After a few quick questions, it calculated the length of time I’ll live after incurring a zombie bite before becoming infected. I’ll have an estimated 65 minutes. This is very useful information. Now all I need is a “I’ve got 65 minutes to live” plan. So I began to search Zombie Attack Survival Plans, of course. I found this quiz: Would You Survive A Zombie Attack? My test results: Would you survive a zombie . . . → Read More: Zombie Attack Plan – Got One? |
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Don’t Follow Me, I’m Lost.