By Kernut, on January 22nd, 2012%
 This post is a mish-mash of the highlights from the beginning of my new year, much of which seems like an episode of the Twilight Zone.
I’m not able to post as frequently as I’d like since I’m on the road in remote locations. My internet is spotty and electrical hookups aren’t always available. That’s what boondocking is like. And you all know how I feel about the boondocking.
Ladies and Gentlemen, next stop The Twilight Zone…
 Caution: Reality Ahead (but it only *looks* like reality) A house guest, I have one.
For a few weeks. Holy Shatner! I can’t believe it, either. This one seems to be a very good one. One who cleans up, and helps around the rig with BBQs and hooking up the new toad. We are heading toward Arizona for a couple weeks before my house guest returns to their home state. [The name of said house guest is withheld to protect their reputation (notice I didn't say 'to protect the innocent') because associating with me might, well, you know, not be good for someone's reputation. Besides, we're still trying to decide who is the Gypsy and who is the Tramp.] Don’t stop now! Continue reading Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves. Allegedly.
By Kernut, on January 13th, 2012%
I don’t even know where to start. Really, I don’t. That’s partly why this post is so late in coming.
Many RVers know about Slab City, some like it, some don’t, but everyone said, ‘You have to experience it at least once.’
I asked, ‘Why? What’s the attraction?’ No one could really say why, they just said it was ‘different’.
Different.
My readers and fellow travelers have led me to some of the most interesting places so when they say I have to go somewhere, I usually go.
Plus, Me = Different.
While Slab City looks similar in some ways to scenes straight out of the Mad Max movies, it is unlike anything I’ve ever seen or experienced. I now understand why no one could muster an answer when I asked why I should go.
Rather than attempt a lengthy description, I’ll do a series of bullet-point descriptions occasionally accompanied by photos and a video. It’s that “A picture is worth a thousand words” thing. Plus, it’s easier because I’m swamped trying to get a new dinghy tow vehicle so I can get out of Dodge A.S.A.P.
For more detail about Slab City, read my two previous articles: one about the death in the hot springs, and one for Yahoo! News.
Slab City, Calif., A World Like No Other Don’t stop now! Continue reading Slab City is, umm, different. Very different. Kind of like me. Sort of.
By Kernut, on December 30th, 2011%
I thought about you naked.
Then I put some clothes on and thought about you some more.
(Right about now my parents are probably cringing and wishing I didn’t blog.)
To the rest of you I recommend condoms to prevent any blogging children.
(This isn’t a real post, it’s more a bit of emotional release about the holidays, inspired in part by Hiker Mike’s post. I have a real, media-intense post on Slab City coming this week. I promise.)
 These are my "Ho Ho Ho" shoes. ahem. This Christmas was bittersweet for me.
As my regular readers know, more often than not I’m quite content with being single. There are minuses, of course, but overall I enjoy it. (For more specifics, see: Ten Reasons Dating Sucks and Ten Things I Like About Being Single and Ten Things I Don’t.)
But sometimes I really Don’t stop now! Continue reading I Thought About You Naked
By Kernut, on December 15th, 2011%
 Everyone has been asking, “How is the cat doing? Does she like the RV?”
It has belatedly occurred to me I should probably include Checkers, my RV co-pilot, in more of my posts.
To answer your question, she likes the RV just fine. As long as it’s not moving. When it’s stationary, she spends much of the day sleeping in the puddle of sunshine streaming through the windows on to the large dash.
 A closeup of my co-pilot sleeping on the dash, what she does when she's not reading maps. Which is always. But the minute I start the Ford V10 engine Don’t stop now! Continue reading Travels with Checkers, the RV co-pilot who can’t read maps. Yet.
By Kernut, on December 10th, 2011%
 Crazy dinosaur marketing schemes, lighthouses, giant golf ball houses, wayward donkeys, naked bookstore owners, and now this.
A pyramid.
Arizona is probably the coolest state when it comes to unique and odd attractions. I used to think I’d have to go to Egypt or Mexico to see a pyramid, but no. Arizona has a pyramid in Quartzsite.
In 1856 the US Army decided it would be a good idea to bring camels over from the Middle East.
Our government 150 years ago? Not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, so how well do you think this worked?
To their way of thinking, the camels would better make the hot, dry trip across the desert than the horses. Ok, that almost makes sense…
But when they imported the 70 animals, they neglected to consider camels are not horses and are not trained like horses.
In case you don’t know, camels are not sweet like horses.
And the US government is still none-too-bright 150 years later, but you know that.
However, in a rare moment of lucidity, they decided to bring over from the Middle East several experienced camel drivers. One of those drivers was named Hadji Ali.
Since most Americans couldn’t pronounce the name, they just called him ‘Hi Jolly’ – the phonetic spelling of the pronunciation.
*sigh* Do I really live here?? Don’t stop now! Continue reading There’s a pyramid in Arizona. I don’t think the Egyptians built it, but what do I know.
By Kernut, on December 9th, 2011%
Continuing the theme of How to Ask a Gal Out (the “Don’ts”), I now present the “Do’s”…
He said, “I just spent the night with Kernut!”
That was the title of his post to the singles group list of 700 people!
Holy Shatner! Considering it’s been a while since anyone could claim that statement, I wasn’t sure what to think.
*blink*
His message to the list continued…
Ok, not like THAT. (Pity)
I am sitting in the airport in Albequerque, waiting to fly to South Dakota so I can “move” there. I came across the email with a blog link and have had a fabulous time reading old posts. She educated me on boondocking, took me to a brothel, gave me dating advice and explained why she is still single, although I honestly still don’t understand the last part. (By the way, I was married once. We had his and hers scissors. It helped a lot but not enough).
Anyway, if you haven’t followed her blog, you should. She is quite refreshing to read.
For the record, Kernut, even though I have used both fabulous and refreshing in this email, I swear I am not gay. I hope to meet you one day, although I am sure you will still choose singledom! And I agree, the 3 date rule is utterly stupid. Guys who believe it should be relegated to being brothel regulars.
(named withheld, reprinted with permission)
And that is the nicest review I’ve ever received.
Ok, it might be the only review other than what my dear and wonderful friends and followers write on Facebook.
Promoting my website with a kind review is awesome. Yes, I can be bought.
I didn’t know him at all before this, but now I’d like to meet him.
And that, folks, is Lesson One in How To Ask A Gal Out.
Lesson Two is below… Don’t stop now! Continue reading He told 700 people, ‘I just spent the night with Kernut!’
By Kernut, on December 7th, 2011%
Mostly, I get wonderful, sweet and praising emails from you folks. I save them all.
Sometimes the BS I get in my inbox requires a special rant. This is one of those times.
 Let's Play Carpenter... or not. As the Match.com Dating Chronicles and Dating Exiled Royalty attest, my love life has been nothing if not interesting. Dating still seems to me one of the strangest activities. It’s like a prolonged interview, and you don’t really know if there’s even a job for you.
Needless to say, my experiences, especially those with Match.com, have left me leery of dating in general. Most especially of internet dating in particular.
While I do get asked out fairly regularly, it takes a special person and a special request to get a “yes” out of me. In the last two weeks I’ve received several requests over the internet for a date, or a general indication of interest. A couple are worthy of a “Yes”, but we’ll discuss those in the next post.
Would-be suitors take note: Included herein are the don’ts of asking for a date. There are ways to ask a lady out to get a “yes”, and ways to be assured you’re turned down. If you want a quick hookup, just go to the bar and don’t waste her (read: my) time.
Like this article recommends, calling someone over the phone is much better than asking for a date over the internet or, Heaven forbid, via text. If I don’t know you, emailing is appropriate while we get to know each other. However, if I’ve given you my number, a phone call is much better. Someday you will have to pick up that phone if you want to date me.
The first couple requests for “dates” were from married men I know. Don’t stop now! Continue reading How Not to Ask Me For a Date
By Kernut, on December 5th, 2011%
 Everyone told me “There’s a naked man in Quartzsite, Arizona. You’ve got to go there.”
Well, duh! Of course I do.
My friends, and folks I meet on my travels, give me some of the best tips. I love you people!
They were right, as usual; he was naked except for a hat, a necklace, and a small crocheted “sock” over his privates. (‘small’ is not a comment on the size of anything other than the sock)
I think there is a little satin bow on it, but I couldn’t look that closely without being accused of staring.
No, NO. On the sock.
Sheesh, I really have conditioned you all to go to the dark side first, haven’t I?
You’re welcome.
He shaves.
No, not his beard. (TMI? Sorry.)
The “sock” was held up by fishing line.
Nothing covered his back side. Don’t stop now! Continue reading I met a naked man in Quartzsite, Arizona.
By Kernut, on November 29th, 2011%
Announcer’s voice: While we await the return of the Sacred Laptop with the Sacred Photos of naked men and Sacred Videos from Kernut’s trip, she’ll share a few tips on boondocking. Regular posts with photos will resume shortly. No posts about naked men will be missed. Ever.
Ten Lessons in Boondocking, or Ten Things I Learned Camping in Slab City
What is this? A “Ten Things Tuesday” post?
Yeah, yeah. I know. I haven’t done one of these in a while.
It’s probably not even Tuesday.
Whatever.
Boondocking: To stay in a recreational vehicle in a remote, often rural, location, without connections to water, power, or sewer services.
This Glamper (Glamper: a person, often female, who likes “glamorous camping”) learned a few things over the three weeks she spent boondocking at The Slabs, aka Slab City. (The place where the guy died when I was there.)
Mainly, that I like electrical power.
*sigh*
Lesson One: Power. Power is important. Don’t play that DVD when the clouds are coming in at night or you’ll drain your house batteries before your solar panel (as in singular, uno, one) is able to recharge them. Waiting for the sun to recharge your batteries takes a lot longer than you think. This means no power all morning, too.
It sucks to be totally out of power on a cold night and morning. Mittens and a beanie are my new best friends. Yeah, I look hot in the morning.
Two: If you ignore Lesson One, Don’t stop now! Continue reading Ten Things: Lessons in Boondocking
By Kernut, on November 21st, 2011%
Or “The time my laptop died, and the windows let in the rain.”
Believe it or not, these things are not related.
Don’t worry, the post about the naked guy in Quartzsite is still coming, but there’s been a slight delay…
The Sacred Laptop, holder of all photos, articles, and videos, has decided to take a vacation… just when I have a deadline for a Yahoo! News article. All 200 photos of Slab City, the town on which the article is based, are on said dead laptop, along with the aforementioned, soon-to-be-due article.
I’ve rewritten the article from (what’s left of my) memory and notes. If worse comes to worst, I do have ONE back up photo. Just one photo for the article. I certainly would have preferred choosing several from the 200 photos, but at least I’ve got a Plan B.
Meanwhile, all is not lost. As a 30-year resident of Silicon Valley, some things you just learn by osmosis… like how to rescue your hard drive. It’s been a long time since I’ve done this, and some memories are hard to retrieve. Like what I had for breakfast this morning, never mind the basic programming I learned 20+ years ago. (And how do you get to the DOS prompt in Windows Vista??? Gees, it used to be so easy.)
The Yahoo! News article is due tomorrow (Tuesday). Yeah, no pressure.
As if The Universe thought that wasn’t enough, Don’t stop now! Continue reading UPDATED: Woman vs. Machine x 2
|
“Like” me on Facebook. It will keep the zombies away. Maybe.
Still searching for that G-spot? We’ll help you find it. Graphic Details Adult Toy Store
Graphic Details of Intimate Moments Sex Blog - Sex Toy Reviews and Stories
Zombie Apocalypse, Military, and Obamanation T-shirts, Mugs, and More!
|
Don’t Follow Me, I’m Lost.