About Kernut the Blond

Welcome to my wild and crazy world!

I’m an adventurous, free-spirited, life-experiencing, cat-herding, slightly bonkers gal who wants to rule the world (ok, not really that ‘rule the world’ part – it’s a shout out to the best all-time sci-fi show: MST3K. Go Pearl!).

Being single affords me the luxury and freedom to go places and do things I might not otherwise be able to do. I’m currently doing web marketing and blogging from the road while traveling in my new RV, with my cat.

There’s really no telling what will happen next.

Meanwhile, I’m busy perpetuating all the stereotypes: single female living with a cat, never married and have no kids, blond, a little crazy and none-too-bright. My parents are very proud.

Be forewarned: My blog posts are occasionally include sexual innuendo/content/too many cuss words a little on the trashy side. Don’t judge. Hungry people obsess think about food.

I suspect I’m missing that filter in the frontal lobe that tells you when something is socially unacceptable. Again, the daughter of proud parents.

If you’re not a stalker and really want to contact me, you can email my assistant Helen Bedd at justsayomm at gmail dot com, or reach me any of the ways listed here.

Are you new here? And still reading? See this page for some of my favorite posts: Learning Something New. I live for enjoy your comments.

Now for a bit more of the boring stuff… (stalkers should start at the bottom of this page)

While living the true life “Adventures of Kernut the Blond” (read “What is a kernut?” for how it all began), I’ve driven Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Hummer (the one from T2), been arrested (no, not for stealing the Hummer), dated exiled royalty, been rescued by Martin Sheen – yes, THAT Martin Sheen – from a person hired to terrify me, lead meditation groups, been a Private Investigator, driven a Bobcat earthmover, rescued wildlife (from baby birds to massive pelicans, squirrels to seals), lived in beautiful beach houses, lived in poverty, and much more yet to come.

Some of the adventures I’ve had may seem unbelievable, but I assure you what I write here is true. Probably a bit crazy, often a tad sarcastic, and always true. This blog is not a work of fiction, it’s just the chapters of my life. (TMZ – Feel free to contact me. I love you Harvey!)

Oh, and be sure to keep an eye out for typos – they should be easy to find – I make a lot of them. I look forward to your spelling and grammar-correcting emails. (Not really.)

Cheers,

Kernut the Blond

P.S. A word to any would-be stalkers: Sure, I look sweet in my Photoshopped (read: you-would-not-recognize-me-on-the-street) photos, but trust me when I tell you I’m a bitch with brass nuggets. I have friends in low places who would do anything for me. My father taught me to shoot when I was eleven. Therefore, I’m a damn good shot at my ripe old age. I own guns (yes, plural – it’s not a typo). I tend to panic like a lemming, am frequently bitter, and PMSing 3 days out of every month. Know you will not succeed where others have failed, so don’t even bother.

Ok, so have a nice day!

Buy custom products at Kernut’s Zazzle store