September 2010 - Kernut the Blond

Greeting Cards for The Zombie Apocalypse

By Kernut, on September 26th, 2010%

Their tag line? “Close Combat Techniques… because you WILL run out of ammo.” Seriously, they’re right. You will. They ask us ‘When the dead rise, will you be able to dispatch them with a simple smile on your face and a witty comeback on your lips?’ I think not. These guys are really smart – they’re thinking ahead. They’re thinking OUTSIDE of the Zombie box, people. We need to do the same or we’re going to be left behind. That’s when I came up with the idea for Zombie Apocalypse Greeting Cards . . . → Read More: Greeting Cards for The Zombie Apocalypse

Cuff Em Danno

By Kernut, on September 20th, 2010%

The cop goes to uncuff him, but he can’t find his handcuff key. It’s gone. Totally lost. He asks if I have mine. Nope. Didn’t expect to be doing the handcuffing on this one. Plus my key was taken away from me. But that’s another story. So the cop leaves me alone in the apartment with the handcuffed BIG dude. Who could head-butt me to death with one blow. Who is innocent of skipping bail. But not cop-killing. . . . → Read More: Cuff Em Danno

If Facebook Existed Through History

By Kernut, on September 17th, 2010%

(Disclaimer – I didn’t write this. It’s too funny and creative, so obviously. I got it in an email from one of my awesome friends. I have no idea whom to credit for the following hilarious post.)

If Facebook Existed Through History:

My favorite are the last two status posts, God and Ancient Asteroid. I especially love the last two comments.

If you don’t share this story, zombies will get you. (Just a little.)

A Big Lump On My Butt Cheek

By Kernut, on September 16th, 2010%

A pain in the ass. P.I.T.A. for short. You might be thinking: ‘Is she having kinky sex again? Did things get a bit wild?’ Sadly, no. And it’s not painful, anymore. . . . → Read More: A Big Lump On My Butt Cheek

I Brought Sand To The Beach

By Kernut, on September 10th, 2010%

My sister, Chickenbone, once told me ‘Don’t bring sand to the beach.’ Me: ??? Chickenbone: If you’re single, don’t bring a date to a party. Me: (still) ??? Chickebone: …where there are single men. Me (a minute later): Ohhhh. (the light bulb isn’t always super bright, folks) . . . → Read More: I Brought Sand To The Beach

Life Before The Computer

By Kernut, on September 8th, 2010%

Just a short post (that I totally copied from a funny email). (Just so you know, this isn’t plagiarism like what happened to Aunt Becky at Mommy Wants Vodka. No, seriously. It is not! This came from one of those e-jokes, and had no author listed. It’s totally different. Mostly because I’m just to lazy to write a real post today and this was funny. They typos, however, are totally mine since I retyped this from scratch.)