UPDATED Sometimes It’s Not Funny

It’s not always funny.

Believe me, I would much rather be posting something else right now, like the details of one of my tumultuous dating adventures.

You ever have one of those days?

Weeks? Years?

No, me either. And this past week (year? God bless my short memory!) has NOT been one of them.

Ok, not in the last five minutes because I’ve been blogging for the last five minutes and I LIKE blogging.

Yes, it’s taken me five minutes to write the few previous sentences. I’m new, leave me alone.

When I’m Not Here I’ve Been Out Getting Blood Tests

Huh, wha??  Unfortunately, it’s true. Lemme explain…

In the process of changing to a new job, and the expected 90-day gap in insurance coverage, I scheduled my annual physical exam. This includes a blood test taken before the exam. It came back with really high levels of iron and cholesterol. Besides that charming bit of news, I eat very little (it is often organic and green) but I am gaining weight. WTF??!

Usually my doctor is VERY concerned about my cholesterol. The same cholesterol which is now EVEN HIGHER than it was last year.

Again, WTF?!

But this time he didn’t even mention the higher cholesterol. At all. He focused on my ‘enlarged red blood cells‘.

Um, what?

Marcocytosis is the official name. New word of the day.

He told me this could be caused by a few things, the least of which is a vitamin B deficiency requiring daily shots. For. the. rest of. my. life.

Oh, yippee. You all know how much I love needles. I’m like a fucking three-year-old when I have to get a shot or have blood drawn. I CAN NOT look. I whimper like a child. (Actually, I once watched a six-year-old in front of me get a shot. She took it like a real adult. Not that I know what a real adult is.)

Oh, and they can NEVER find a vein on me. I end up like a bloody pin cushion.

Another possible cause he mentioned is hypothyroidism. My I-research-online-every-little-ailment mentality leads me to believe it’s Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, the leading cause of hypothyroidism in the United States.

Lovely. Yet another statistic I may be perpetuating.

The treatment for this seems to vary, but mostly seems to require daily medication for the rest of your life.

But there is a worse option: A rare form of Leukemia.

I’ll take the hypothyroidism, thankyouverymuch.

Then he sent me for more blood tests. Now, I’m just waiting.

I hate the waiting. I can’t meditate, I sleep crappier than usual. I can’t focus on anything. I can’t even read a trashy novel without staring at the same page for five minutes.

This sums up the way I feel about my life at the moment:

This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual life, you would have received instructions on where to go and what to do. Life is only a test.

Had this been and actual life, here are the instructions you would have received:

Go out an enjoy this moment, this life, and live it as if it’s the only one you’re getting.

(P.S. I guess if I had the instructions, then this would have been an actual life, but these seem like a good guess.)

(P.P.S. An update will be posted here as soon as I have news.)

UPDATE 8/4/10: The tests for the vitamin B deficiency and the thyroid hormones came back ‘within normal range’. This (supposedly) rules out the two things that are not Leukemia. I still think it’s a thyroid issue. While the test for the vitamin B deficiency is pretty conclusive, my understanding is the tests for thyroid issues are less so. I have a follow up appointment on the 10th. yippee.

UPDATED UPDATE 8/10/10: So I had the follow up appointment today. My doctor said since my levels for the above two tests came back normal, so I was fine.

HUH? WTF??

We chatted about health things for a bit, but then he started to leave. I said ‘Wait… what about the macrocytosis?? I didn’t have that last year.’ He said that was probably just normal for me. ????? I feel a little like I’ve been played. Why tell someone they MIGHT have Leukemia and then not test for it OR talk about it at the follow up appointment? Did I miss something?

Granted, I could have pushed the issue, but I really don’t want to go through a bunch of tests for it anyway. I would much rather live in my rose-colored world where I am fine. Tired too often, weight I can’t lose, but fine. (Y’all do know what ‘fine’ means? FINE = Frustrated, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. This world I know and will gladly live in.)