Zombies, RV Life, and Random Craziness
- Willcox, Arizona, resting place of Warren Earp, Rex Allen and Koko the Horse.
- Happy Birthday! Checkers, the RV copilot, turned 18 today.
- Ten Things: Random Observations From the Road
- Put the hooker in the box, and the bird in the closet.
- “The Thing” in Dragoon, Arizona? It’s a dead thing.
- Bugzilla, my new roommate.
- Tombstones in Tombstone, Arizona
- Holy Flying Vampires, Y’all! The bugs are big in Texas.
- From the Ocean-to-Ocean Bridge to the Bridge to Nowhere, and shaking your dates in between.
- Severe Weather Alert: Like a cow pissin on a flat rock.
- The Center of the World, and two blondes in Mexico.
- Don’t make me get my gun out. Again.
- I got down, way down, in Calipatria.
- I was eaten by a giant dinosaur, and then I found millions of Zombie Fish.
- Cement boats, giant artichokes, old jails, and two-story outhouses.
- Ten Things You Must Know Before Buying a Used RV
- Train and Tumbleweed
- Giant Bunnies, Giant Monopoly Boards, and World’s Longest Garlic Braid. Welcome to Northern California.
- 28 Days Later
- Border Patrol = Reno 911
Pimpin my affiliates… Seriously, this blog can not survive on my writing alone.
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By Kernut, on May 30th, 2010%
 View from Santa Barbara Castillo (Castle) in Alicante This is part 2 of my trip to Spain. (Part 1 in the series is here: The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly…)
Advance apologies for the length and rantiness of this post. I promise the next will just be about my adventures and impressions of Spain.
When we left off…
Panic has now set in. (Please note the sub-title of this blog: I’m FINE: Frustrated, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. The Adventures, Travels and Tribulations of a Bonkers Blogging Blond. ‘Bonkers’ may be an understatement. Pretty sure it is, but my alter-ego thought ‘bonkers’ rhymed better with ‘blogging’ and ‘blond’.)
Iberia Airlines, with their teams of luggage and policy-making asshats, had conspired to leave me stranded: I’m stuck in a foreign country, alone, speaking only enough espanol to order beer and tacos. As much as I needed one at that moment, I don’t drink beer. Anymore. That leaves me with just tacos. Don’t stop now! Continue reading The Plane to Spain, part 2
By Kernut, on May 28th, 2010%
This kind of weirdness permeated the entire trip. Permeated it like a thick black tar. Not unlike the crap washing ashore in Louisiana and Santa Barbara right this moment: That oil-drilling residue tar that just sticks to you and is damn near impossible to remove. Ever have that shit stuck on your feet? It’s hella hard to get off. . . . → Read More: The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly…
By Kernut, on May 27th, 2010%
Questions and Answers. The answers may or may not be accurate.
I apologize for not responding sooner, but Formspring, the maker of the comment box on the right, didn’t notify me I had emails! *sigh* Apparently, this has been going on for a while with other members, too, and there is no plan to fix the issue. ???
Disclaimer: I make no promises about the accuracy of the following answers. Do not try this at home. Check with your physician before proceeding. Enter at your own risk. You must be 18 and this tall to ride this ride.
Questions I received…
Q 1. How tall are you?
A. Moooooog35 is that you? I’m about 5’5″.
Q 2. Hmm i wrote in this box, but don’t know where any reply might show, facebook?
A. They don’t actually show up anywhere. I will repost the questions and answer them here.
Those are all the questions I got. Don’t you all want some more snarky dating advice? Well, I hope so because I’m working on the next round of tips. Feel free to send me questions.
If you’re not worried about anonymity, you can email me questions at swtrpnzl (at) aim (dot) com. I’ll keep your contact info private – only you and I will know
If you don’t share this story, zombies will get you. (Just a little.)
By Kernut, on May 26th, 2010%
 It’s like trying to reason with a lizard… that’s the part of the brain that’s active in times like these. Just try to tell a lizard what to do. Let me know how that goes. . . . → Read More: Panic Much? FEAR = F*ck Everything And Run
By Kernut, on May 25th, 2010%
 40 sounds great. Not that I relate. I'm still 27. Always 27. We interrupt the regularly scheduled post to bring you… well, this.
First, let me just say I did not write this. I wish I had, but I didn’t. The following was sent via email by a friend…
If you are 40, or older, you might think this is hilarious!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning…. Uphill… Barefoot… BOTH ways. yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!
But now that I’m over the ripe old age of forty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. They’ve got it so easy. I mean, compared to my childhood, they live in a damn Utopia.
And I hate to say it, but kids today don’t know how good they’ve got it!
1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. Don’t stop now! Continue reading 14 Signs You’re Over 40
By Kernut, on May 23rd, 2010%
Here are 5 Dating Tips… 1. Coffee dates are the kiss of death. . . . → Read More: Dating Advice From The Unqualified
By Kernut, on May 20th, 2010%
 Mirroring: one of the methods practiced in Tantra. Do sexually confident women scare men or is this an attractive quality?
Really, I want to know. My sexual confidence and security has intimidated more than a few boyfriends. It’s a running theme. And, sadly, the older and more confident I get, the more I seem to intimidate them. So it’s not like it’s going away and I have no intention of squashing it.
But I’m about ready to give up all efforts at finding a match.
Before you let your kinky imaginations run wild… I don’t even get a chance to bring out the whips and chains before they get scared (read: ‘sudden loss of interest below the waist’).
I’m kidding about the whips and chains. Kind of.
Seriously, I’m not even a screamer, much. I just enjoy sex and am not shy about it, or talking about it.
Is that intimidating to men? Don’t stop now! Continue reading Sexual Confidence: Can You Handle It?
By Kernut, on May 16th, 2010%
 From Bixby Bridge in Big Sur Car Shows, Riding on a Harley, Fried Artichokes, and fresh, hot Cinnamon Rolls!
What an amazing weekend it’s been! I’ve been out showing my friend from Meeneesooota the sights and it’s been an tour of the senses.
That’s partly why I haven’t been around much. Like anyone’s noticed. (I can’t yet tell you all the other reason just yet, but will tell you all as soon as I can. And I promise you’ll love it! ‘Cept for maybe my parents. But they’ve got to be use to me by now.)
It is truly a delight to show someone the sights who has the ability to let their inner child out, experiencing the world with that same sense of wonder and appreciation. He was amazed by the beauty of the Big Sur, California coast, and let himself express it and immerse himself in it. That’s the part most people seem to find hard to do. For me it comes naturally. Probably because I’ve never Don’t stop now! Continue reading An Exploration of the Senses
By Kernut, on May 11th, 2010%
 There's a magazine about this? I’m fascinated by linguistics, especially the colloquialisms specific to a certain region. We all have them, and those little words can give an indication of where you grew up, or lived for many years.
Also when you grew up.
A friend is visiting from Minnesota. He’s never been to California so I’m showing him the sights. The other day I used the word ‘dude’ when relaying some meaningless important story to him.
Yes, maybe I’m a hopelessly outdated Californian, but that’s not the point.
He’s been here three weeks and I’m the first person who’s said ‘dude’ to him. WTF? Don’t stop now! Continue reading We Say ‘Dude’ In These Here Parts
By Kernut, on May 7th, 2010%
My friend: “Who do you think buys more sex toys, men or women?” . . . → Read More: Who Bought Your Sex Toys?
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