I learned to mix drinks, quite well actually, and we all had a grand time drinking up the liquor cabinet after school. When the booze would run low, Dad would just replace it. Awesome. *hiccup* . . . → Read More: Drinking and Smoking: My Childhood Memories
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 9 comments - (Comments are closed)  Criminal Acts, My Crazy Childhood, TMI, Trouble  Crimes and Misdemeanors, My Parents Wish I Didn't Blog, WTF?  This one speaks for itself. My Blog is a Guilty PleasurePepperidge Farm Doesn’t Understand MeUPS Hires Basketball PlayersMy Gift: Some Assembly, and Transportation, RequiredGoogle Searches Confuse Me, and Others(Really, I’ve got nothing. And sometimes Google has nothing, too.) A friend emailed me the other day to tell he how much he enjoys my blog.   ... In honor of Wicked Girls Think It’s “NPD” on Saturday, April 24th this post is about underwear. (If you don’t know what ‘NPD’ is yet, check out Wicked Shawn’s post Wicked Wednesday Q&A from 4/14. Scroll to Question #1, by yours truly. Note that the date IS Saturday, April 24th, not the 23rd as in my comment.) I’ll wait, but come back after you’ve read about NPD. (I’d say what it is here, but you know, my parents still read my blog. Although, they’ll probably stop after reading this post.) As I was saying, in honor of NPD, I’ve decided to share a few embarrassing underwear moments, not all of them mine. Heh heh. I’ll show you mine, you can show me yours later. In the comments, or by email: swtrpnzl (at) aim (dot) com. Pictures are accepted. I reserve the right to repost your pictures and blog about them. So if you send ‘em, you’d better be proud of ‘em. For your pleasure, three embarrassing underwear moments… Don’t stop now! Continue reading Embarrassing Moments in Underwear – I’ll show you mine…  Pigeons are doing it everywhere I go. For the Anniversary of my 27th Birthday, I had plans for a lovely three-day weekend: A trip on a boat, a massage and dinner with a friend and, most especially, birthday nookie. Birthday nookie is important. Everyone should get birthday nookie. It should be a requirement. It is if you’re with me. My birthday, your birthday, New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, Arbor Day… Any day that ends in “y”. Moving on… I’m sorry to say all the plans fell through. No massage, no boat ride. *sigh* No birthday nookie! But I had a backup plan: Beach party, and bonfire with friends and smores. I love smores. Almost as much as birthday nookie. Those plans fell through, too. (Boring, uninteresting story or I would totally tell you.) I didn’t get smores. *sniff* No birthday nookie, no smores. (the hell?!) I had an absolutely lovely day, nonetheless. Wherever I am is where the party is. First I stopped at the Capitola City Council Chambers. They were in the toilet…. Don’t stop now! Continue reading The Anniversary of My 27th Birthday, Council Chambers in the Toilet, and More Pigeon Porn Then I see something interestingly familiar… the male starts slowly inching towards the female. Male: Fluff, preen, inch a step closer, wait…. Fluff, preen, inch a step closer, wait…. Fluff, preen, inch a step closer, wait…. . . . → Read More: The Birds, The Bees, and Pigeon Porn 10 comments - (Comments are closed) Animals, Dating, The Birds and The Bees Sex - atleast someone is getting it, The Birds and The Bees
 Checkers, The Kibble Wrangler I am owned by a cat. Those of you who know me well know Checkers, The Kibble Wrangler, is my world. MY. WORLD. Yes, I am a crazy cat lady. Love me, love the cat. It’s a package deal. Now that we’ve established that, realize that she can do little wrong. This will become evident as this story progresses. My sister, Chickenbone, used to always ask, “How can you have a cat? There’s that whole stinky litter box that needs to be scooped all the time, there’s the barfing on the carpet. All that’s just gross.” (I retorted with some quip about children and diapers. I do not have kids. She now has a cat/litter box and a kid/diapers. I win.) Yes, kitty poop is gross, as is the occasional cling-on (poo stuck to butt fur), but it’s so inconsequential when compared to the unconditional love she gives. MY. WORLD., People. This post is in honor of her approaching 16th birthday. Happy Birthday Checkers, from the interwebs! (Yup, she gets gifts and special treats on her birthday just like I do. Mine is coming before hers. Feel free to send gifts to both of us. My email address in on my About page. She wants a big cat tree. I want a tropical vacation.) In The 4-Hour Workweek Tim Ferriss gives a specific internet business model ANYONE CAN IMPLEMENT. He explains each step in very simple terms, and includes contact information for his preferred vendors and services. . . . → Read More: 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss Have you ever been to a brothel? Of course you have! Well I have, too. Three, actually. All on the same day. I’m a studdette like that. . . . → Read More: Sex in Carson City: My Trip to The Brothels – UPDATE 16 comments - (Comments are closed) Criminal Acts, Humor, Reviews, TMI, Travel Adventures, Crimes and Misdemeanors, Las Vegas, TMI, Travel Workforced.com – This Office Doesn’t Work People, I’ve found a fellow cube-dweller and sufferer of my cube-shaped bit of hell. My heart it full. While stalking perusing one of my favorite blogs, Midget Man of Steel’s Mental Poo, I read his interview with Don Joe from Workforced.com. Comic GENIUS – both of them. Certifiable yes, but genius. I trotted on over to Workforce.com, an office comedy blog, and immediately realized I had found a comrade: A fellow sufferer of the padded, square-shaped hell. We are not alone. What he wrote about one of his colleagues bringing around their newborn brought tears of laughter to my eyes – Where The Son Doesn’t Shine. The man is now on my Blogroll: Funnier Bloggers.  The Rispin Mansion, Capitola, CA. Front entry way. The Time Penny Was Attacked by The Killer BeesWhen I was a delinquent young teenager in Capitola, I had some friends with whom I regularly got into trouble had adventures. (See: My First Brush With The Law). One of the places we would regularly go to find trouble was the colloquially named ‘monastery’, formally know as The Rispin Mansion. (Side note: If you view the more recent photos, note we did NOT spray paint the place, or destroy the statues, and were quick to lecture those who did. We loved that place. I would like to see it restored but it’s going to be torn down and turned into a Bed & Breakfast or something.) The monestary/Rispin Mansion was once a beautiful mansion built in 1922 by a wealthy man, reported to have transported liquor during the Prohibition. It seemed only fitting we should go there to drink illegally. The place once had beautiful parquet floors and statues. It still had secret hidden rooms, and a sliding bookcase. People, I couldn’t make this shit up – I’m not that imaginative. IT WAS AWESOME! The place was abandoned around 1958, and it’s considered trespassing to be on the grounds. Yet another good reason for us to go there. Regularly. Don’t stop now! Continue reading Penny and The Attack of The Killer Bees 24 comments - (Comments are closed) Adventures, Criminal Acts, Humor, My Crazy Childhood, Trouble Adventures, Cops, Crimes and Misdemeanors, Humor, Trouble |
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I start getting all warm and fuzzy. No, really, I’m actually 
Don’t Follow Me, I’m Lost.